just because

several years ago my niece asked me to share my testimony with her. this is what i shared with her. (keep in mind a lot has happened since...) but i've had some conversations lately that have reminded me i'm not alone is some of these struggles.... I grew up in an awesome, godly family. My parents love the Lord with all their hearts and have always been super examples for me and my brother. Their faith is awesome. I don’t take it for granted one bit! In fact, I think the reason I feel like it’s easy for me to understand Gods love is b/c of the way they have always loved me. They are my favorite friends! As a young kid I accepted Christ and always wanted to know Him & please Him. I spent a lot of time in His Word and praying growing up. That foundation of faith has carried me through SOOOO much! In high school some of my church friends all started changing a little. They started partying, got involved in dating relationships that weren’t the best, etc. I d

i've been busy with adoption work lately which is super fun and exciting. it is also a sweet reminder of all the phases of adoption feel like. ...some sweet reminder some hard! y'all know i don't think before i blog. i just start writing. so some of this may seem scattered, may not make much sense and could seem pitiful...ha but whatever. before i get into how fun life is with gabe i want to relive some of the moments of the adoption process. the first thing is making the decision to start the process. kinda scary! it's not as simple as having sex and being pregnant. i used to complain that most people just got to have fun sex and have a child. LAWD the adoption process is MUCH less fun ;) i'm NOT saying that getting pregnant is easy for everyone. i'm NOT saying it's not as special. it is EVERY bit as awesome as adoption. but a part of me thinks that God called us to adopt so that i would completely appreciate G. for me it's easy to love a chil

i don't know why i keep thinking of people to blog about. but i have some pretty cool people in my life so i guess this is my way of sharing them with you :) today i'm going to tell you all about (well not all) Leah Carr. i like her. she blogged about me a while back. it absolutely surprised and blessed me. because i admire and respect her so much her words meant the world to me and still do. i'll certainly make a list of things i love about her but i'll start just sharing my heart... i first met Leah when she was finishing up her senior year in high school. i had just come on staff with TAs and remember seeing her at a TNBS. she had a big group of friends and they seemed so happy, comfortable and fun. none of them believe me but i wanted to get to know them b/c i thought they seemed fun BUT because they were about to graduate my boss at the time told me to focus on some younger girls that i could build relationships with that summer and into the next school year.

i think josh is one of Gods best ideas. ever. for two days now i have wanted to sit down and blog about how much i love my brother. i've had a stupid/crazy couple days with feeling lightheaded and weak so i haven't quite been myself. don't worry. i have been to the doctor. EKG was fine as was my blood pressure and blood sugar. they did some blood work and scheduled an MRI for next week. i'll keep you updated. until then...just know i feel silly and embarrassed by the whole thing. now, back to josh. it only seems fitting that when i had my feeling faint episode this morning i called him. which was strange b/c i DO NOT make phone calls. so he knew something was up! sweet thing let me come lay on the couch in his office and then drove me to the doctors office (instead of the ER where they told me to go. no thank you.) that's josh for you. he didn't hesitate. he just kept me calm, kept me laughing and went with me to the doctors office. (well we tried mercym

His grace is sometimes too much. i am just so thankful. i don't deserve an ounce of His marvelous grace, love and friendship. but i am overwhelmed by it. i haven't been thinking like i should lately. i've allowed some old thoughts to come creeping back in. i am confessing for several reasons: 1. to bring it into the light  2. for prayer :)  3. because i probably share too much, ha. y'all know i hate my struggle. i do. i AM still living in freedom as far as food & exercise goes. i don't feel tied down or bogged by either. BUT my clothes are ill fitting and that is hard. (i can't afford a completely new wardrobe so forgive me if you see A LOT of repeats!) i went to the Lord yesterday with the question "how much is too much?" when it comes to weight gain. i don't know what He said/thought... BUT He has, despite my fleshy-ness, given me such encouragement...  this week is prayer week at CCC. if you know me you know this is one of my lea

gosh it's been a long time since i've blogged. so much has happened since my last post. the first thing is that i read an awesome book called "the circle maker." LOVE IT. Thanks Polly! wow, it has encouraged me and challenged me. i'm not good at explaining books. i'd never make it writing spark notes (or cliffs notes in my day!) but this book has challenged me to write down BIG dreams and prayers for myself and my family. the things i wrote for myself i'm too embarrassed to say/write out loud :) but they are BIG things that only God could do. that's what he encouraged the readers to do. another cool thing i remember from the book was how he encouraged me to rest/sit on past miracles while praying for new things. so sometimes (when G isn't home) i will do my quiet time in his room bc he was certainly a HUGE miracle for us. sitting in there last week i remembered that i also sat in his nursery (LONG before it was HIS) and did my quiet times

i am so far from being a perfect christian. i often tell people that i will be sweeping porches in Heaven. i'm pretty serious about that. there are lots of parts of me that are gross and fleshy and not adding rooms to my mansion (aka TENT) in Heaven. i hope that my life honors God and that He is ultimately pleased with me (thanks to His Son!) so saying i'm not perfect doesn't mean i don't try to live a life that blesses Him... i do! but for friends out there who aren't in a good place spiritually or don't really trust God at all...I'd like to just share some reasons i believe in Christ and hope you will too. i am saddened by my sin. i feel like i have struggled with the same old stuff for entirely too long. but being a mom has taught me a lot about His grace. good grief, i can't imagine loving G anymore than i do. that kid stole my heart before i ever held him in my arms. but every day...multiple times a day...i have to correct him, discipline hi

i've been a tad overwhelmed and a little (ok a lot) grumpy today. i looked through my old blogs and saw that a year ago i wrote my 100th blog. for that one i listed 100 random kaci thoughts. so instead of being a grump i thought i'd try to list 100 things that make me happy. now, we all know i love Jesus. i appreciate his grace, mercy, love etc. so this list isn't going to hit everything thing...and certainly wont hit all my Jesus-y things. so heads up on that. 100. FALL. i love cool mornings and comfortable afternoons. (is that too much to ask?! ha) 99. a new dateline and/or 48 hours on my dvr 98. the show franklin & bash. i think i am the only one who watches it but it makes me laugh. 97. the food network. right madison?! :) 96. seeing all the "regulars" at lake bottom in the mornings. 95. getting in bed with clean sheets 94. supper with my boys...every night at 6! 93. having candles lit in my house and office 92. the coffee Jonathan Moore makes

i keep seeing status updates about the iPhone 6. which makes me laugh. so i thought i would confess some things about myself...and about specific areas of my life. just kaci confessions: - i've never had an iPhone or iPod. - i don't know what a birch box is - i buy my makeup at walgreens. - except for running shoes and my tony lama boots...i've never paid more than $25 for shoes or a purse. - i refuse to pay for a pedicure or manicure (i need my gross feet for running, thanks!) - at 35 i have, for the first time, someone who cuts my hair. i'm almost in therapy for having to pay for it. but my cheap cuts were killing me. - i could talk about food all day. and am almost always hungry. or at least could eat. being a mom of an adopted son: - i LOVE it. but sometimes i think people don't think I'm a "real mom" because i didn't give birth to g. that may not be true but sometimes i do feel like less of a mom b/c of it. but you know whats

few random things to start... - i am challenging myself to wear makeup and real clothes at least 4 days a week. we'll see how long that lasts. - i have given up on not having calloused hands. i'm realizing you can't have baby soft hands and lift heavy weights. - it's only wednesday. but i am super excited about saturday at 3:30. i will be on my couch, in pjs, watching UGA play. i am pumped. Gabe update: - hearing him "Jesus loves me" is MY FAVORITE. so darn sweet. - he's doing so well in his big boy bed. he doesn't STAY in it...but he doesn't keep me up so who cares! jay and i laugh hearing his little feet run across his room to grab toys and run back to bed. like we can't hear it! funny kid. sunday jay went to pull his blanket back before bedtime and toys went flying. real slick g. last night he and i were talking about snacks that we love. (he was eating pretzels saying he liked them.) i said pretzels are overrate

i have fallen in love with 154 teenagers. sure, they can get on my nerves, ha. they do stupid things, say incredibly insane things sometimes and  Lord knows they don't always pay attention. but i just love them. every one of them is unique. i spent my weekend looking at them as i spoke, watching them as they shared in small groups, played nine square, square danced, worshipped and laughed. i saw all types of students. some nerdy, some super athletic and "cool", some very quiet and reserved, some you'd NEVER pick out of a crowd to be a TA (those of my favorites!) and some that blend in with the crowd. but i asked God, and He was faithful, to let me SEE each one of them this weekend. i'd written their names at least 5 times on name tags, ocho lists, cabin lists, etc. so i had prayed for each one individually and i hoped i would SEE each one just as HE does... when you are looking at people the way He does...your heart just melts...it simply loves. i am t

my office is a mess with boxes full of TA retreat supplies. normally a messy office would stress me out. but not this kinda mess...it's a glorious mess... looking around i see - - blessing bags decorated and ready to be filled with encouraging words. - flowers cut out of construction paper - bandannas - funny song titles - balloons - name tags - 4000 note cards waiting to be written on - blank "write your heart out forms" - supplies for relay races, ochos and more. if you just saw the supplies you'd think i was insane and that these items may seem haphazard! but that is not the case. each supply is purposeful. each one will be used by God. i love that promise. He is ever so faithful on these retreats to encourage, discipline, speak life and truth, build relationships and FILL the weekend with His presence. without those things...its not worth doing. and i (we) couldn't do it! sometimes retreat planning can be overwhelming. there are SO.MANY.DETA