just because

i dont feel like a "real mom" sometimes. is that weird? i feel like i'm faking it. i wonder if that's because gabe is adopted or if other first moms feel that way. i cried talking to my mom today about motherhood. i saw on GMA that some women are born with the "mom gene" and others arent. i dont think i was born with it! i may have played with cabbage patch kids as a child but i never enjoyed babysitting or desired a house full of kids! i didnt daydream as a child of being a mom. NOT because my mom wasnt FABULOUS. she was...and IS. but i had friends that only ever wanted to be a wife & mother. i never really understood that. i wanted to be a wife but i was ok without the motherhood part. of course i LOVE being a mom now. i sometimes just feel like i'm more keeping him alive and laughing than teaching him important life skills. i guess i shouldn't beat myself up. but today i have been. i want to think of creative things to do with gabe. i ...

i don't really have anything to blog about. that's always a dangerous place for me to start... when i read other peoples blogs, i realize just how pointless mine is! oh well. gabe just got his 2nd tooth. it is perfect. so darn cute! i feel like all baby teeth should come in at one time. i admit it'd be creepy but with all the pain, crying, fussing, etc. it'd just be easier on us all. especially the poor babies who don't understand what is going on! i have never bought gabe a toy. well, maybe one or two. but most of his stuff came from other people and/or as hand-me-downs. i almost bought him something yesterday. but then i remembered that he only plays with things that aren't really toys. so i saved my money. right now he is in love with our laptop. he gets upset that we wont let him mess with it. it makes me laugh. he's not laughing...but i am. i know who's in charge! he LOVES power cords. i tried to trick him yesterday and make a shoestring l...

i just want to brag on God for a while. AND talk about my amazing job. the TA fall retreat is by far the most fun, challenging, time consuming thing i do all year. but i love it. it is worth every sleepless night, nervous eye twitch, rant, tear and annoying repetitive question inevitably asked my parents and teens! this year we wised up and started the retreat 2 hours early. i've never set my alarm on a retreat and had 7 hours of sleep ahead of me. running 14 miles the morning of the first day...probably not my smartest move. the drive up was so fun. gabe was fantastic. he never once complained. what a cool kid. he loved the retreat. i LOVED watching students love on him. he was always being held and played with by TAs. sometimes (just confessing...) i wasn't even sure who was holding him (i dont know all 150 TAs yet!) but i did keep my eye on him. he had no shame. he'd get in his little walker thing and run all over that place. he'd walk right into the midd...