just because

for over 10 years now i have struggled with (the nasty, sinful and vain) self-image. LONG story short it all started with a desire to lose a few pounds... but i took it too far. i decided my worth was wrapped up in my size. i believed, truly believed, that my size determined my worth. there was a few reasons i think i believed that lie... i'd heard MANY pastors/youth pastors and christians talk about how our character and inner beauty are what matter... (true!) but as a young girl (well 20 something) i saw that even christian men wanted a beautiful and (what i thought was) perfect wife. so i decided that i needed to be thin. and where i really went wrong was telling God that "i'd take this. i'd take control of this part of my life because after all He couldn't control what food i put in my mouth or how hard i exercised." although i vividly remember Him telling me one morning while i was running that "He could give me something to complain about.

It's been a while since I've posted. Life has been busy but fun. I've learned a few things about myself and God lately. Also about Jay. I'll share those in a minute. But first, a few random thoughts... 1. stitch fix is SO much fun. but GOOD GRIEF. I can't afford to pay $46 for some blue jean shorts. so everything they sent me went back except a necklace and it was for a good cause. and since i'd already paid $20 in styling fees it only costs me $26 (extra.)  can someone join me and let's start up a stitch fix for the "less fortunate." haha.  except i'm serious. we could make big money. 2. Chick-fil-a owes me for their new coffee drink. for years now, well i should really say josh clegg gets credit, i've asked for a little splash of coffee on my ice dream in a cup (as they call it.) it makes perfect coffee ice cream. I'mma need a kick back for this idea that they are now making a killing selling. 3. I am so excited that we are actu