life lately with the Lesleys

It's been a while since I've posted. Life has been busy but fun. I've learned a few things about myself and God lately. Also about Jay. I'll share those in a minute. But first, a few random thoughts...

1. stitch fix is SO much fun. but GOOD GRIEF. I can't afford to pay $46 for some blue jean shorts. so everything they sent me went back except a necklace and it was for a good cause. and since i'd already paid $20 in styling fees it only costs me $26 (extra.)  can someone join me and let's start up a stitch fix for the "less fortunate." haha.  except i'm serious. we could make big money.

2. Chick-fil-a owes me for their new coffee drink. for years now, well i should really say josh clegg gets credit, i've asked for a little splash of coffee on my ice dream in a cup (as they call it.) it makes perfect coffee ice cream. I'mma need a kick back for this idea that they are now making a killing selling.

3. I am so excited that we are actually experiencing spring in GA. thank you Lord.

4. I am in love with Ms Myrtis. We are gearing up for our big work day on her house and I'm very excited. We may not make much money for Jeeah's Hope (which is kinda sad) but we are still getting to help a very precious lady and for that i am grateful. I love talking to Myrtis. She loves the Lord and you cannot have a conversation with her without Him being mentioned. I hope I am like that now and when I'm 84.

Now, on to a few things I have learned about myself.

Everyone who reads my blog (all 10 of you) know that I have struggled with self-image/weight stuff for years. I'm NOT proud of that. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of it. But at least I'm trying to get over it?! Idk. I'm sure I am annoying Him and all of you.

But let me tell y'all what God did for me last month. I was miserable with tension in my hips. it was awful. so i blamed it on anxiety (i tend to feel my symptoms in my joints.)

I had been emailing back & forth with a very wise friend about something else and simply asked her to pray for my body. i know she prays boldly!

she responded by asking if there was anyone that i needed to forgive? when i read it my stomach dropped, which totally surprised me, and almost offended me. but i stopped and asked God to show me. so when jay got home i shared that with him and asked why that question hit me so hard...

he said i needed to ask my body to forgive me.

my body?

hmm. so we talked for a minute. i agreed i've been mistreating it for years...

later i asked him how i could work on forgiveness with my body....bc that's strange. ha

so he talked me through it. he asked what i thought my body would say to me...

wow. i bet it's pissed at me! i run it ragged, sometimes not feeding it well and then talk bad about it. heck no friend or spouse would stick around for that.

so i am working on asking my body for forgiveness AND taking steps to treat it right. i started eating more small meals throughout the day which for me is a GOOD thing. i've been eating fruit daily (which i have been afraid to do since 2001.) i have switched up what i eat. i feel free to eat different things and make myself eat more to refuel my body.

so God is challenging me to eat more (not junk food but protein & carbs that my body needs) and to stop speaking negatively about my body, and i need to be grateful for what this machine does for me daily! i am proud of how hard it works and i like that it is strong. (see, saying nice things publicly!)

y'all pray for those things in me. i know eating more sounds crazy and counterintuitive but it's what the experts say i need to do.

another thing i've had to work on is pride. i've been so embarrassed of my weight gain (15 lbs i gained taking anxiety meds y'all. not fair! if i'm gaining weight i want to EAT not take a pill!) i've been ashamed thinking that people think i've "let myself go." when reality is........NO.ONE.FREAKING.CARES.

now, i want to talk about my sweet husband for a minute. y'all know i can give him a hard time but he is truly a good man.

we had a neighbor that used to walk his dogs on our street once or twice a day. if he ever saw us out with Gabe he would stop and talk. he was always SO friendly. he would brag on Gabe and encourage us as parents. he was precious.

granted, he walked with his shirt off or unbuttoned most days! we referred to him as the shirtless guy until we learned his name was Don.

jay is VERY good at loving his neighbor, literally. i'm not very good at it. i blame my introverted side. i'm not good at small talk. i say and ask dumb questions. it's just ugly. so if you ever wonder why i'm not chatty (if you see me out) it's NOT bc i'm a snob or a jerk...i'm simply saving you the awkwardness that would inevitably happen if i tried to chat...

but jay can talk to anyone about anything for any length of time. he amazes me. (and sometimes annoys me bc i'm slowly dying on the inside while digging in my purse, texting madison or theresa for something to do or "parenting Gabe" who doesn't really need me in the moment)

he takes time to ask how people are doing and listens to the answer. (he doesn't always do that with me though....hahahaha.)

he can make weird conversations not seem weird. he can make small talk. he doesn't seem the least bit stressed in these circumstances. i need a lot of work in this area.

back to Don, jay and don got to be pretty good friends/acquaintances. it was sweet to watch. in December Don told jay that he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

we watched Don go from super strong and healthy to very thin, pale and sick. he stopped being able to walk his dogs. so sweet jay lined up neighbors and us to do it for him. it was really cute to see jay and G walking dogs. y'all know i was OUT on that job. but i did send Don notes.

the last month or so was really sad. Don would call jay, sounding pitiful, and give us an update. we would listen and be so sad for him and his girlfriend Nikki (who also has cancer.)

Jay Lesley was amazing for Don. he called him to check on him, he would stop by if he saw his car home, he would pray with him, sit with him...just whatever. i saw Jays pastors heart come out. and it was precious.

he did all that and no one ever knew. nobody knows that jay spent time walking dogs that aren't his. nobody knew that he prayed with and for a man whose last name we never knew. but i love knowing that God knows. :)

jay and G spent a lot of time with Don last Thursday. I went down on my way to a wedding shower and Don asked to see me. he was skin and bones. he looked nothing like the Don i remembered. it literally took all he had to talk but he held my hand and thanked me for praying for him and sending him notes. he said his heart could explode with gratitude for our love and encouragement. he also said i have two fine men in my life - which i completely agree with.

Jay and G went to hospice on Sunday to see Don one last time. the doctors had him drugged so he wouldn't be in any pain. G reported to me that "Don was just snoring."

Don died a couple hours after G and Jay left. it BROKE Gs heart. he wept. it broke my heart to see G so sad. but we talked to him about how happy, healthy and free Don is now and he seemed ok with it.

he has prayed for Don a couple nights this week. sweet kid.

i know i spend more time on FB making fun of jay. but he is a good, good man.

he works at his job, grad school, being an attentive and playful father, and a loving husband. he's a faithful friend, son and brother.

he seriously doesn't get mad or lose his temper. 

he is kind, gentle and hilarious.

he will eat whatever i put in front of him with a smile on his, face bless his heart.

our church is gearing up for "the church has left the building" where instead of attending a service on April 24 we do a service type project around town...

jay lesley lives "the church has left the building" and i'm proud to do life with him.

i love you jay! infinity times 1000, i win!