Come on Dads and the devil is an A%$
This summer I helped Teen Advisors prepare for their fall retreat. It was definitely bittersweet knowing I wouldn't be at the retreat for the first time in 13 years.
I did easy jobs like write name tags, make blessing bags, make adult folders and coordinate transportation and facilities. Nothing difficult. I love doing tasks. LOVE IT. I know it may be strange but checking jobs off of a list is heaven to me. And I may not be super talented or brilliant but I am a fast worker. I can get things done crazy fast. I don't even know why. So doing things for the retreat is my favorite kinda job.
My, not so favorite job, is reading the "write your heart out" forms that we ask the kids to fill out at the pre-retreat meeting. They are completely anonymous which gives the students freedom to truly write their hearts out....and they do.
Every year my heart breaks at the crap these young students are facing. High school sucks. Don't you remember all the pressure?! I mean I had a BLAST my four years in high school but I can still remember the pressure to try to be cool/popular, to let go of my morals & standards to fit in, the desire to look or dress a certain way or drive a nice car, etc. Ugh. It's easy to look back and see that those things don't matter but when you are living it...when you are in the thick of it...it feels like it's all that matters.
I wasn't super popular. I certainly didn't have a fancy car or trendy clothes. I somehow missed that I think....haha. I wore what was comfortable. I think the Lord kept me from falling into those pressures by keeping in my "funk stage" all the way from middle school to college. no joke. I was homely looking. So trying to be cool or snag the coolest guy at school wasn't even on my radar, ha. I laugh about it but I truly do think it kept me from a lot of sin and a lot of heart ache.
Especially since I've struggled in adulthood with my self-image. Apparently I would've been a train wreck in high school too if I'd cared.
Anyway, I digress.
What I learned this year reading those write your heart out forms is that KIDS NEED THEIR DADS.
I can assure you that at least 75 of the 150 students that filled out the forms mentioned their dad. Not in a "oh how I love my dad" kinda way either.
Most of the comments read like this:
"My dad left when I was three...."
"I see other girls with their dads and they seem so happy. I'm not even sure my dad likes me."
"My dad is having an affair..."
"All my dad does is yell..."
"My parents constantly fight and my dad never speaks to me."
"We can go an entire car ride and my dad doesn't speak."
"My dad is an alcoholic."
"My dad got so drunk one night he fell into my room. I faked asleep. I saw him laying on the floor and he'd cut himself. I thought I may watch him die...I was so scared."
"My dad yells at me at home and even in public. I try to tell him that it hurts and embarrasses me but he won't stop."
"My dad constantly loses his temper. I wish I had a happy home like my friends."
I could certainly go on. But you get my point.
Mom's fail too. So I am not trying to say that women are perfect. But very few students mentioned their mom. Seriously, I think I read 5 about a mom.
I think the enemy just KNOWS that fathers are important. That they set the tone for the house. That they help young girls understand their worth and how to be loved by a man. Satan knows that he can disrupt and entire home by getting the dad off track. I HATE him for that.
So many people in my life lately are having problems with their husbands. I have several friends going through a divorce because of an unfaithful husband.
I am FED UP with the devil. he is a liar, he is nasty, deceitful, evil and so slick. I am SO thankful to know that in the end the Lord is going to defeat him and trample his sorry A*% to the ground forever.
But folks, we have to fight. We have got to pray for our husbands, fathers, uncles, brothers, etc. We have to pray for their protection, for them to make wise choices and steer clear of the enemies lies.
Ladies, we have to step it up and encourage our husbands and thank them for following Christ and leading our family in His Truth.
(Trust me I know that many women do this and their husbands still fall into sin.)
I hate, hate, hate the enemy. I hate that he gets us where we are weak. Lord knows I fall into the same ol sin all the time. I hate that too.
But I am boldly calling the Fathers out there that I know to step up their game. I have some ideas for you if you want them.... :)
- Read scripture at supper every night.
- Pray for your family as you leave the house in the mornings or on the way to school.
- Write your wife and children notes that they can keep and reread encouraging them, loving on them and speaking TRUTH into their hearts. so that the enemy cannot trick them with his lies.
- Take special time out to spend with each child doing something special.
- Be annoying! Ask your (annoying, bratty, "I'm too cool for you" kid) how their day was and then tell them about yours. If you keep it up long enough they'll break! I promise.
- If you have to, jot down notes after you talk to your child so that you can remember what test they having coming up, or who just broke up with who or who their best friend is for that day (ha) so that you can specifically ask about that later. That goes a LONG way!
- remind your child often that they are smart, talented, beautiful/handsome, etc. they so need to hear that from YOU.
- You can always tell them "3 reasons that you love them" like jay, gabe and i do daily :)
- PRAY for them before they go to bed. I don't care if your child is 17. They won't forget that you PRAYED. DO IT.
- Journal for them. Especially if they seem closed off and not wanting to talk. Simply keep a journal for them and leave it in their room from time to time. They'll read it.
If you want more...let me know. I'll keep thinking :)
But honestly Dads, if you will simply treat your family the way you treat folks outside of your house...it'll go a long way. Be kind. Speak to them! Make them LAUGH. Ask how they are doing and listen to the answer. Don't yell. Be gentle with their growing hearts. They way you respond to them SO SO effects their self image.
My dad is fabulous. He's not a touchy-feely kinda dad. We don't hug, ha. I bet we've only hugged 20 times my entire life. He doesn't write me notes (unless it's a bday card and they are often sarcastic!) We don't say I love you all that often either. But I've NEVER, not a day in my life, doubted that he loves me. Know why?? Because he's always been kind to me, he's listened, he's answered my questions (dumb ones and complicated ones.) He's been a faithful father and husband. He's home A LOT. He didn't choose a night out with friends over us ever. He is involved in our lives. He's there when we need him for ANYTHING. He loves the Lord and lives a life that is evidence of it. He makes me laugh and laughs with me. He tells other people (who tell me) that he's proud of me.
He's not perfect. But he's been consistent and faithful ALL of my life.
Dads, if you can do that, you can love your kids straight to the feet of Jesus. DO IT.
I did easy jobs like write name tags, make blessing bags, make adult folders and coordinate transportation and facilities. Nothing difficult. I love doing tasks. LOVE IT. I know it may be strange but checking jobs off of a list is heaven to me. And I may not be super talented or brilliant but I am a fast worker. I can get things done crazy fast. I don't even know why. So doing things for the retreat is my favorite kinda job.
My, not so favorite job, is reading the "write your heart out" forms that we ask the kids to fill out at the pre-retreat meeting. They are completely anonymous which gives the students freedom to truly write their hearts out....and they do.
Every year my heart breaks at the crap these young students are facing. High school sucks. Don't you remember all the pressure?! I mean I had a BLAST my four years in high school but I can still remember the pressure to try to be cool/popular, to let go of my morals & standards to fit in, the desire to look or dress a certain way or drive a nice car, etc. Ugh. It's easy to look back and see that those things don't matter but when you are living it...when you are in the thick of it...it feels like it's all that matters.
I wasn't super popular. I certainly didn't have a fancy car or trendy clothes. I somehow missed that I think....haha. I wore what was comfortable. I think the Lord kept me from falling into those pressures by keeping in my "funk stage" all the way from middle school to college. no joke. I was homely looking. So trying to be cool or snag the coolest guy at school wasn't even on my radar, ha. I laugh about it but I truly do think it kept me from a lot of sin and a lot of heart ache.
Especially since I've struggled in adulthood with my self-image. Apparently I would've been a train wreck in high school too if I'd cared.
Anyway, I digress.
What I learned this year reading those write your heart out forms is that KIDS NEED THEIR DADS.
I can assure you that at least 75 of the 150 students that filled out the forms mentioned their dad. Not in a "oh how I love my dad" kinda way either.
Most of the comments read like this:
"My dad left when I was three...."
"I see other girls with their dads and they seem so happy. I'm not even sure my dad likes me."
"My dad is having an affair..."
"All my dad does is yell..."
"My parents constantly fight and my dad never speaks to me."
"We can go an entire car ride and my dad doesn't speak."
"My dad is an alcoholic."
"My dad got so drunk one night he fell into my room. I faked asleep. I saw him laying on the floor and he'd cut himself. I thought I may watch him die...I was so scared."
"My dad yells at me at home and even in public. I try to tell him that it hurts and embarrasses me but he won't stop."
"My dad constantly loses his temper. I wish I had a happy home like my friends."
I could certainly go on. But you get my point.
Mom's fail too. So I am not trying to say that women are perfect. But very few students mentioned their mom. Seriously, I think I read 5 about a mom.
I think the enemy just KNOWS that fathers are important. That they set the tone for the house. That they help young girls understand their worth and how to be loved by a man. Satan knows that he can disrupt and entire home by getting the dad off track. I HATE him for that.
So many people in my life lately are having problems with their husbands. I have several friends going through a divorce because of an unfaithful husband.
I am FED UP with the devil. he is a liar, he is nasty, deceitful, evil and so slick. I am SO thankful to know that in the end the Lord is going to defeat him and trample his sorry A*% to the ground forever.
But folks, we have to fight. We have got to pray for our husbands, fathers, uncles, brothers, etc. We have to pray for their protection, for them to make wise choices and steer clear of the enemies lies.
Ladies, we have to step it up and encourage our husbands and thank them for following Christ and leading our family in His Truth.
(Trust me I know that many women do this and their husbands still fall into sin.)
I hate, hate, hate the enemy. I hate that he gets us where we are weak. Lord knows I fall into the same ol sin all the time. I hate that too.
But I am boldly calling the Fathers out there that I know to step up their game. I have some ideas for you if you want them.... :)
- Read scripture at supper every night.
- Pray for your family as you leave the house in the mornings or on the way to school.
- Write your wife and children notes that they can keep and reread encouraging them, loving on them and speaking TRUTH into their hearts. so that the enemy cannot trick them with his lies.
- Take special time out to spend with each child doing something special.
- Be annoying! Ask your (annoying, bratty, "I'm too cool for you" kid) how their day was and then tell them about yours. If you keep it up long enough they'll break! I promise.
- If you have to, jot down notes after you talk to your child so that you can remember what test they having coming up, or who just broke up with who or who their best friend is for that day (ha) so that you can specifically ask about that later. That goes a LONG way!
- remind your child often that they are smart, talented, beautiful/handsome, etc. they so need to hear that from YOU.
- You can always tell them "3 reasons that you love them" like jay, gabe and i do daily :)
- PRAY for them before they go to bed. I don't care if your child is 17. They won't forget that you PRAYED. DO IT.
- Journal for them. Especially if they seem closed off and not wanting to talk. Simply keep a journal for them and leave it in their room from time to time. They'll read it.
If you want more...let me know. I'll keep thinking :)
But honestly Dads, if you will simply treat your family the way you treat folks outside of your house...it'll go a long way. Be kind. Speak to them! Make them LAUGH. Ask how they are doing and listen to the answer. Don't yell. Be gentle with their growing hearts. They way you respond to them SO SO effects their self image.
My dad is fabulous. He's not a touchy-feely kinda dad. We don't hug, ha. I bet we've only hugged 20 times my entire life. He doesn't write me notes (unless it's a bday card and they are often sarcastic!) We don't say I love you all that often either. But I've NEVER, not a day in my life, doubted that he loves me. Know why?? Because he's always been kind to me, he's listened, he's answered my questions (dumb ones and complicated ones.) He's been a faithful father and husband. He's home A LOT. He didn't choose a night out with friends over us ever. He is involved in our lives. He's there when we need him for ANYTHING. He loves the Lord and lives a life that is evidence of it. He makes me laugh and laughs with me. He tells other people (who tell me) that he's proud of me.
He's not perfect. But he's been consistent and faithful ALL of my life.
Dads, if you can do that, you can love your kids straight to the feet of Jesus. DO IT.
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