not that anyone asked...

not that anyone asked my opinion but i'm going to share it anyway. i'm sad, mad and hurt by the marriages around me that seem to be falling apart. that breaks my heart. jay and i certainly don't have a "perfect" marriage so i'm not claiming to be an expert. but i hate that so many christian couples are divorcing.

by NO means am i judging anyone who is divorced or is going through one! my dad was divorced before meeting my mom and jay was divorced when i met him. so Lord knows i'm not judging or saying people who break up are bad.

i hurt when i think about jay going through his divorce. i joke with him that if i ever met his ex-wife i'd pull her hair. (i'd want to do more than that i think...except it did work out well for me!)  jays wife was unfaithful. that makes my heart so sad. he's super open about it. he lets me ask all kinds of questions about how he felt, how long it took him to get past it, etc. he definitely went through an incredibly dark time. i'm thankful he has a precious family that walked beside him through that mess.

jay can get on my nerves! oh my, can he. but only for silly things like: crunching cereal, leaving his shoes in the middle of the floor (why, why?), not hiding the peanut butter, "forgetting" to do things i ask (brat!), slurping his coffee and chewing it...what's there to chew?!, leaving clothes in the dryer for days, riding his motorcycle when he sees it's time to hit the grocery store, playing bass and/or guitar loudly after i've gone to bed, not eating leftovers, snoring...i could go on!  even if he was doing all of these things at the same time...i couldn't help but love him. i might break into a sweat of rage but i'd still love him.

we've hurt each others feelings lots & lots of times. we've both done/said things i'm sure we wish we hadn't. but i am sooooooo grateful that God has kept us in love & best friends.

i'm mad at the devil for creeping into marriages. i know its him. he takes hurts, selfishness, and one little "open door" and RUNS with it. i hate him for that. i hate that he gets us focused on things that don't matter. i hate that he gets our minds wondering onto other things/desires/people when we should be focused on Him and the person he's called us to love.

i know i get on jays nerves. i feel like i should talk about my annoying habits (since i listed jays!) here are some: i am obnoxiously routine. i like my schedule & plans. i bet jay gets annoyed with that. i dont like to eat at "fatty" places. i'm sure he'd love to take me out for something nasty & greasy sometime! i ask him to hide the peanut butter but then (sometimes!) tear up the house trying to find it. i know he hates when i ask him to gather all the trash from around the house. i continually try to love him with MY love language instead of his...mine is acts of service. so i am all the time bringing him things/surprises, doing extra stuff for him around the house, making him his favorite foods and serving him at every meal...but he doesnt get that as love!  his love language is touch and i am NO GOOD at it. i forget. it's not that i dont want to hug him, hold his hand and kiss him often...i just forget. sorry cdubs. i'mma work on that!

even with all of those things - we still love each other. we still tell each other 3 reasons we love each other almost daily. we put notes & gifts in our love box (and gabes!) we hug even when we're frustrated with each other. jay has never raised his voice at me or been harsh towards me. what a gift. he isnt afraid of all my faults, he loves me when i'm making him laugh or falling apart in tears. he's the best.

i wish every marriage could be happy. i am praying for so many marriages to be healed & restored. some i'm not sure will make it but i wont stop asking the Lord for restoration. MORE than that i pray that husbands and wives will be drawn to Him....letting go of selfishness and hurt. 

i pray this prayer almost every day. maybe it'll encourage wives out there! maybe it's helped our marriage even more than i know....

Father, I confess that I am a submitted wife simply because I want to be and because I recognize your authority. In Jesus’ name, I submit and adapt myself to my husband as a service to you, Lord. I see that I respect and reverence my husband – that I notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, esteem him – that I defer to him, praise him, love and admire him exceedingly. I will comfort, encourage and do him only good as long as there is life within me. As I seek counsel from my husband, he will be my strength, my hiding place, my high tower, my intercessor – and we will stand side by side as we minister life, love and healing to those you send our way. (Prayers that Avail Much by Word Ministries, Inc.)