probably too much info

oh what a day. poor gabe was circumcised this morning. best.kid.ever. he hardly cried at all. the nurses could not get over how amazing he was. seriously, he rocks. he didn't even freak when his IV was being taken out. my mom & i, on the other hand, had to turn our backs. really, we are wimps. my mom assured me she'd sit down if she felt faint...

one time i had surgery. she saw my incision and i could tell she was about to pass out. the doctor made ME get out of the hospital bed so she could get in it. yes, that happened.

i hate needles. 

we did have a little "heads up" (no pun intended) on what the circumcision would be like. sweet vasa wasn't circumcised either when he joined our family. so at 3 years old he had it done...shwew. i'll never forget josh telling us about vasa realizing something had happened...

vasa was kicked back eating a popsicle waiting to be discharged. apparently he felt a jolt of pain b/c josh said   he ripped back the robe and saw that his beloved penis was still there and  He fell back like relief overwhelmed him.  that is awesome! one of my favorite v stories so far. 

while we were in the waiting room my mom started telling us about "the goat man." have you ever heard of this guy?! apparently he walked all over the USA with goats and a wagon. why? i don't know. but my mom and aunt used to get excited when he came by their house every (maybe not every...) summer. please, go google it. weird. hilarious, strange and weird.

my family has been making penis jokes all day. gabe would be offended if he knew all we were saying. 

in other news, we had our christ community staff party monday night. i (originally) got the best gift there. it was a butt bank. it was a piggy bank that looked like a butt and it made farting noises when you put money in the crack. h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s. i loved it. i am not sure why it made me laugh so hard. but it was stolen twice during the game. so i didn't get to go home with it. 

my strange family loves anything that has to do with farting or diarrhea. we cannot stop laughing with stories of messed up stomachs, crop dusting, etc. we need help.

i ended up with a Jesus Calling devotional. i guess i need Jesus more than a farting butt bank. 

goat man. i just don't understand...

i was so proud of myself (for a minute.) i found the cutest cowboy hat cupcakes on pinterest that i was going to make for gabe's first bday party. we're having a cowboy & indian themed party. i got my mom to save clear & yellow gumdrops from their gingerbread houses & saved a twizzler from a pack so i could try it ahead of time. right...today i went to pat-a-cakes and ordered a cake. who am i trying to kid? i can't bake much less bake something AND make it cute. that's why we have bakeries. yeet.

the party should be fun though. i've got pie tins to serve food in, bandanas galore, burlap decor, mustaches & wanted poster for pictures, cowboy boots, hats & a cute rockin horse. it should be cute. not that gabe will remember or care. :)  OH and i have a "horse" aka Luke Smith that the kids are going to lasso in while playing in the backyard. we've got lots of games planned. 

hopefully gabe's "injury" will be well so he can play :)

speaking of gabe's injury. there are lots of reasons why i am glad i am not a man...

i know that being a girl isn't always easy. emotions are exhausting, pressures to be thin/beautiful, etc is tough. girls are gossipy and dramatic. those things aren't fun. not to mention our monthly JOYOUS time when all of those issues collide. dear.Lord. it's just mean!

but guys have it tough too. i told my mom this morning that if i'd been a guy i would never be married b/c i would NOT EVER have the nerve to ask someone out. never. i still get nervous just asking jay if he's free for lunch sometimes. i suck at rejection. 

i also wouldn't want to have to help lift heavy things, help people move, be able to "fix" things around the house, move furniture, hang pictures, cut grass, know about car things, play rough sports (i am not a fan of people or balls flying at me!), etc. i don't like cold so i would hate hunting. i can't be quiet so i'd hate fishing. superheros annoy me. i suck at video games. 

i know not all guys have to know or be good at all of those things. but i have a feeling i'd fail at each of them. therefore i'd be the lamest man ever. 

this will embarrass my mom. but she told me this the day i started my period. sorry but i will just share my world here. i started december 9, 1991. i'll never forget that day. i had to play a scrooge in the church christmas play that night ... NO PROBLEMO. i was a wreck. i hated my life. i thought i'd never smile again. seriously, i was an idiot. anyway, she told me that i only had to wear/have something between my legs for a few days every month and men had to have something there every day of their lives. preach! i am glad God made men & women the way He did but no thanks on that! i do not have penis envy. is this too much!? ha. 

i hope i dont get fired for this post.

i also hope i havent offended everyone who reads my blog. it's just human anatomy right?!

i'll close with a list of random thoughts :) (less sketch ones)...

i love the smell of popcorn.

i always say i like cold weather but i really don't. i'm not trying to lie. i THINK i like it until it happens.

i had waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too much coffee this morning. whew, i got a lot accomplished. 

i really love to sleep.

this day is kinda like a twilight zone. i don't know why. i get up at 5:30 every wed but today seems longer.

speaking of twilight, i've never seen any of those movies or read the books. harry potter either. i'm not going  

     to see the hobbit either. i'm not into science fiction stuff.

my sister-in-law had my newest niece yesterday! Emory Cate. she is perfect. i wish we were there.

is today the day the world is supposed to end? i can't remember when that is...

if i really knew when the world was going to end...about a year out (maybe earlier) i would start eating...constantly.  how fun would that be?! YUM. i would also travel and spend a lot of money. 

and i would tell people about Jesus. that should probably be first on my list.

i may get fired and go to hell for this post. 

yeet.