so many reasons

i have never claimed to be cool. i have never even tried. there's no use.

let's all laugh and enjoy reading reasons why i am a forever NERD.

we can start with the most recent and then i'll share stories from my past. (some will be repeats but trust me...you'll still enjoy it.)

let's start with how i attempted to try a new road bike yesterday in flip flops. jason taught me how to get on a bike the right way. but whoops, i forgot. and FELL STRAIGHT OVER in front of everyone enjoying a late lunch in downtown columbus. awesome.

i have a bruised knee, swollen wrist, bruised hand and scraped ankle to prove my dorkness.

now, let's back up to a couple weeks ago when i first made a fool of myself at Ride On Bikes...

my friend danelle and i decided to go for a ride one afternoon. sounds fun, right!?

so i ran home to get my bike. i decided i'd grab my helmet first. so i started looking around. couldn't find it anywhere! looked outside, looked in my car, looked all over the house...nothing.

so (no lie) i tried on Gs. almost wore it.

in a sweaty tizzy i called jay to see if he knew where it was (which is stupid b/c lets be real...men don't know where anything is haha)  while i was talking to him and considering wearing my motorcycle helmet - i happened to look by the dryer and found it behind it. which makes perfect sense, right?!

ok so then i went to get my bike. i was really sweating by this point.

got it and tried to fit it in my crv. umm, not happening. i tried every way possible. barely got one tire in the back.

so i had to put it in jays TANK. if you havent seen my husbands truck...its huge and high. (not like redneck high)

i fumbled around for a while trying to figure out how to open his dang back door and finally got it. i pushed the bike, climbed in the back seat and pulled it in, etc. and finally got it all settled.

then i started downtown. good grief.

got downtown and saw danelle. she was already laughing b/c we'd been texting about how we were both sweating just trying to get our bikes to ride on bikes.

confession - i was sweating and saying words that did not bless Jesus.

ok so i jumped out of jays tank. opened the back and my helmet fell out. of course. climbed in and got the bike out after scrapping my calf a couple times. i like to start bike rides with injuries.

then i rolled my bike and kmart helmet into the store.

we needed to get our tires checked. right. mine should've had 85 (whatevers?) it had 5.

so jason showed me how to put air in them. then seeing that i am bike ignorant he decided to help us before sending us out.

so he started talking us through some bike stuff and showed me how to wear my helmet correctly.

i acted cool (which is pointless) and went to put my helmet on. right.....

should've held onto my bike b/c it fell over and almost knocked down the snack section.

ok so that was loud. and all the "real" cyclist in there with their hardcore outfits turned to look at me.

i think jason was really scared for me. so he decided he'd ride us around the block and teach us the basics.

we stepped outside and he showed us the correct way to get on a bike.

wait, there's a correct way??? who knew. (and obviously i forgot yesterday when i busted it getting ON the bike.)

so i attempted to do what jason showed us to do. but nothing happened. my pedals/chains (whatever?!) didn't work.

oh why, you ask?? b/c my chain fell off when my bike fell over b/c i was putting on my kmart helmet.

y'all.

believe it or not danelle and i had a safe, enjoyable ride that day!

i even joined some friends that following saturday for a 12 mile ride and a week later did 25 miles.

then yesterday happened. (believe me i'm skipping a whole lotta bike drama here....right jason?!)

so pray for my bike riding skills. G is better than me.

i'll just throw out a couple other kaci moments...

once my friends and i wanted to rent mopeds in panama city. i was SCARED to death.

we went in, filled out all of our forms, etc. and went out to get our tutorial.

the guy asked me to come sit on the moped so he could show me the specifics. i tried to act cool. (again, no use)

he showed me how to push the gas. he didnt say to DO it...but whoops.

i did. i left TIRE SKID MARKS UP THE LEG OF HIS JEANS.

he told me i was going to kill myself. and made me ride around the parking lot for 15 minutes.

i was like dumb and dumber.

i cried the entire time we rode. the.entire.time.

another kaci fail...

i went to the bank one time to deposit money for the law firm i worked for. i was sitting at the drive thru waiting on the receipt. (had to have that for the lawyers)

i looked down. (i cant believe i'm telling this...) and thought to myself "what is that extra pedal for? maybe its a foot rest for my right foot...?"

....so i pushed it.

no. no kaci. it's NOT a foot rest. it's the GAS PEDAL.

needless to say i went flying out of the drive thru lane. thankfully there wasnt a car in front of me.

but i had to go back to get the receipt.

the teller asked where i went. i just had no response.

i did that one other time too. driving home from high school. a friend of mine pulled up next to me and revved (sp?) his engine at me being silly.

so i thought i'd be funny and rev it back.

again, i pushed JUST THE GAS and went flying through that red light.

i have a skiing story that is every bit as stupid. but i'm too lazy to type it. its somewhere in my old blogs if this post isnt enough to prove that i am the most uncool person you have ever known.

are we still friends?