not that anyone asked :)
my friends may think i am extremely curious and/or obnoxiously nosy. i cant help it. i just like to know what people are up to, whats going on in their lives and just how they are in general. so i ask my friends, often. family too. so i'm kinda asking myself those questions today and answering for you...who did not ask :)
hmm, how am i doing?
well, let's see. today i turned my calendar to Aug 1 along with the rest of the world. i turn my page with a million emotions...
first - COMPLETE JOY b/c it means we have hit the month of COLLEGE FOOTBALL. y'all.
next, i must confess there is a slight tremble in my hand as i turn the page because Aug also means the month of the TA Fall Retreat. it is one of my most favorite things but also the most time consuming, emotion consuming, all-of-me consuming thing i do all year. well, thats not completely true. it doesn't consume ALL of me b/c i give it to God every hour...sometimes every minute.
HE is ultimately in control. i find such rest in that. again i ask, how do nonbelievers do it?!?!
i've been struggling a little (ok, a lot) with my job for a while now. NONE of that being TAs fault or mine even...just life i think...
but the Lord did something sweet, powerful, amazing, PEACEFUL in my heart on monday morning. and i am so thankful. instead of beginning another year discouraged i am going all in. hoping to make it the best year yet.
what else is going on...
i have backed off on running. i used to run 5 days a week averaging 40-45 miles a week. i backed down to 3 days averaging 21 miles a week. except this week...i'm going for 13 miles. the UA july challenge almost took me out. therefore i did NOT run today :)
i've REALLY learned to LOVE riding my bike. its not easy but any means but it is a lot of fun.
God has given me the sweetest new friendships through it. the saturday "no nuts just guts" ride is TOO MUCH FUN! i love meeting new people every week, seeing fun friends every week and killing those extra miles with Chandrika every week. really, i think Gods hand is all over it.
on wednesday mornings i ride with my friend Polly. She is one of those ladies that you want to "hate in your heart" b/c she's PERFECT...perfect hair, makeup, body, she's funny, she's smart, etc. i really wish i could be jealous or could come up with something that makes her less perfect...but i cant.
she loves her family, loves God, and is an absolute encouragement to me. i learn a lot about bike riding, parenting and Jesus from her. love it.
hmm, what else...
family is wonderful. my parents are a trip. i truly adore them.
josh & his fun family are doing well. what a beautiful wife and kids he has!!
i'm ready to start planning college football parties at his house. amen.
how am i spiritually?
hmm, i'm in a really sweet spot and i am grateful.
since that thursday in may when God finally got my attention and COMPLETELY snagged my heart from my struggle with weight/size, etc. i have been FREE. FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
i cant even explain what joy it has brought to my life.
sure, i have moments when i get sad that i can't fit into clothes that i used to. sometimes i see someone walk by and wish i was her size. i will be honest about having those moments.
BUT those fleeting thoughts (for the first time in 10ish years) DO NOT take root and dictate my thoughts/my self image/my actions.
PRAISE JESUS!
i honestly never thought i'd get to this place. i KNEW God could...i just never trusted myself to actually take the step of obedience.
but that day, He got me.
so though i have those thoughts...i try not to look in the mirror...i stop myself from comparison...i refuse in Jesus' name to go backwards. not even one step.
being FREE means:
- i don't think about food and exercise all day. AMEN. (well i may think about food bc i love it...)
- i don't go to bed feeling guilty for living another day in disobedience
- i worship freely in church b/c i know the words that i am singing are TRUTH. for years i was saying words that i did not follow with my actions. does that make sense?
- i feel better physically, emotionally and with Him.
i know i am a better wife and mom. sure, i still eat very healthy bc i LIKE healthy food. i like eating A LOT so i eat things for quantity. haha
living in obedience to Christ is the only way to go.
i didn't trust Him. i'll confess it. i thought letting go meant He'd change everything about my life. nope, He didn't. He simply MADE IT BETTER.
i breathe freely, joyfully, i am more relaxed, my heart feels light and airy instead of dark. it is such a sweet spot.
Trust Him folks. be obedient.
so i guess i can say i am doing really well. sure, i have rough days/times/moments. But i am FREE :)
now, lets all get excited that we are SO CLOSE TO COLLEGE FOOTBALL. FALL. SCARVES. BOOTS. PUMPKIN EVERYTHING. THANKSGIVING FOOD. CHRISTMAS EVERYTHING.
it, my friends, is the most WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR. can i get an amen?
hmm, how am i doing?
well, let's see. today i turned my calendar to Aug 1 along with the rest of the world. i turn my page with a million emotions...
first - COMPLETE JOY b/c it means we have hit the month of COLLEGE FOOTBALL. y'all.
next, i must confess there is a slight tremble in my hand as i turn the page because Aug also means the month of the TA Fall Retreat. it is one of my most favorite things but also the most time consuming, emotion consuming, all-of-me consuming thing i do all year. well, thats not completely true. it doesn't consume ALL of me b/c i give it to God every hour...sometimes every minute.
HE is ultimately in control. i find such rest in that. again i ask, how do nonbelievers do it?!?!
i've been struggling a little (ok, a lot) with my job for a while now. NONE of that being TAs fault or mine even...just life i think...
but the Lord did something sweet, powerful, amazing, PEACEFUL in my heart on monday morning. and i am so thankful. instead of beginning another year discouraged i am going all in. hoping to make it the best year yet.
what else is going on...
i have backed off on running. i used to run 5 days a week averaging 40-45 miles a week. i backed down to 3 days averaging 21 miles a week. except this week...i'm going for 13 miles. the UA july challenge almost took me out. therefore i did NOT run today :)
i've REALLY learned to LOVE riding my bike. its not easy but any means but it is a lot of fun.
God has given me the sweetest new friendships through it. the saturday "no nuts just guts" ride is TOO MUCH FUN! i love meeting new people every week, seeing fun friends every week and killing those extra miles with Chandrika every week. really, i think Gods hand is all over it.
on wednesday mornings i ride with my friend Polly. She is one of those ladies that you want to "hate in your heart" b/c she's PERFECT...perfect hair, makeup, body, she's funny, she's smart, etc. i really wish i could be jealous or could come up with something that makes her less perfect...but i cant.
she loves her family, loves God, and is an absolute encouragement to me. i learn a lot about bike riding, parenting and Jesus from her. love it.
hmm, what else...
family is wonderful. my parents are a trip. i truly adore them.
josh & his fun family are doing well. what a beautiful wife and kids he has!!
i'm ready to start planning college football parties at his house. amen.
how am i spiritually?
hmm, i'm in a really sweet spot and i am grateful.
since that thursday in may when God finally got my attention and COMPLETELY snagged my heart from my struggle with weight/size, etc. i have been FREE. FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
i cant even explain what joy it has brought to my life.
sure, i have moments when i get sad that i can't fit into clothes that i used to. sometimes i see someone walk by and wish i was her size. i will be honest about having those moments.
BUT those fleeting thoughts (for the first time in 10ish years) DO NOT take root and dictate my thoughts/my self image/my actions.
PRAISE JESUS!
i honestly never thought i'd get to this place. i KNEW God could...i just never trusted myself to actually take the step of obedience.
but that day, He got me.
so though i have those thoughts...i try not to look in the mirror...i stop myself from comparison...i refuse in Jesus' name to go backwards. not even one step.
being FREE means:
- i don't think about food and exercise all day. AMEN. (well i may think about food bc i love it...)
- i don't go to bed feeling guilty for living another day in disobedience
- i worship freely in church b/c i know the words that i am singing are TRUTH. for years i was saying words that i did not follow with my actions. does that make sense?
- i feel better physically, emotionally and with Him.
i know i am a better wife and mom. sure, i still eat very healthy bc i LIKE healthy food. i like eating A LOT so i eat things for quantity. haha
living in obedience to Christ is the only way to go.
i didn't trust Him. i'll confess it. i thought letting go meant He'd change everything about my life. nope, He didn't. He simply MADE IT BETTER.
i breathe freely, joyfully, i am more relaxed, my heart feels light and airy instead of dark. it is such a sweet spot.
Trust Him folks. be obedient.
so i guess i can say i am doing really well. sure, i have rough days/times/moments. But i am FREE :)
now, lets all get excited that we are SO CLOSE TO COLLEGE FOOTBALL. FALL. SCARVES. BOOTS. PUMPKIN EVERYTHING. THANKSGIVING FOOD. CHRISTMAS EVERYTHING.
it, my friends, is the most WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR. can i get an amen?
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