overwhelmed, in a good way!

my office is a mess with boxes full of TA retreat supplies. normally a messy office would stress me out. but not this kinda mess...it's a glorious mess...

looking around i see -
- blessing bags decorated and ready to be filled with encouraging words.
- flowers cut out of construction paper
- bandannas
- funny song titles
- balloons
- name tags
- 4000 note cards waiting to be written on
- blank "write your heart out forms"
- supplies for relay races, ochos and more.

if you just saw the supplies you'd think i was insane and that these items may seem haphazard! but that is not the case. each supply is purposeful. each one will be used by God. i love that promise.

He is ever so faithful on these retreats to encourage, discipline, speak life and truth, build relationships and FILL the weekend with His presence.

without those things...its not worth doing. and i (we) couldn't do it!

sometimes retreat planning can be overwhelming. there are SO.MANY.DETAILS. but it never fails...when i read student registration forms and when i read their "write your heart out" forms...the sense of being overwhelmed leaves me and i am challenged, determined, focused and ready to do every tedious job so these students will be blessed. (not b/c I did these things...but because God takes my (our) efforts and uses them for His glory.)

i'm going to copy and paste some thoughts from our students from the past couple years in hopes that you too will pray for them...pray for us!

our students are the "cream of the crop" and there lives are HARD.

i LOVE it. i am THANKFUL. i am overwhelmed in a good way. that these students put their hurts behind them and want to help others.

sometimes i struggle with the fact that i don't get to see many tangible results in my job. but if i can help ONE student through their struggle its worth it to me...

-I feel as though I have lost connection with God and that I am constantly disappointing Him. That he has lost hope in me.

-I really need to be delivered from a sexual attachment with my ex. I thought we were so in love but we recently broke up. I have been having suicidal thoughts.

-My ex use to tell me that I was fat and always had something I could fix.

-I pray a lot but I just don’t feel like it is good enough.

-If people think I’m weird or stupid or crazy, maybe I am. But I am afraid of letting the world define me. I’m terrified of never being myself with confidence.

-My dad is addicted to drugs and is always in & out of jail. I really want to talk to him but I don’t know how.

-Last year my adopted brother attempted suicide and said I should’ve stopped him. I’ve been told it wasn’t my fault but I am still scared. I think maybe if I’d been a better sister…

-Sometimes I doubt God. I don’t want to.

-I suffer from an eating disorder and I need to know I can stop.

-It’s difficult feeling unloved by your own father.

-My grandmother is sick and could die at any moment.

-I feel great about myself most times. But one insult and I doubt myself.

-I feel like I’m ugly, fat and hideous.

-My parents announced a week ago that they are getting a divorce.

-I am expected to be the best at everything. We’ve only been in school for a few weeks and I’m already ready to collapse. I’m starting to develop anxiety problems.

-I think I am too nice and people take advantage of me.

-I am addicted to porn. I don’t even enjoy it anymore. I just do it to pass time.

-Frighteningly I don’t feel the NEED for Gods presence in my life.

-I struggle with homosexuality. I wonder why I feel this way. I can’t tell my parents. I can’t tell anyone.

-The most difficult thing for me is having to deal with the fact that I could have saved my friend from suicide. I feel hurt & responsible for her death. I’m lost & don’t know what to do.

-I just want to stop having images and thoughts of lust in my mind and live for the lord with all that I am.

-I hate myself. I put on a mask to hide the true pain that I am locking inside.

-My dad moved to a different state. I miss him. He is the only person who makes me feel good enough. -I have dreams that he is dying and I wake up screaming.

-Sexual activity is causing the most stress for me. I don’t know how to say no.

-I wish my parents understand that when they bring up bad grades it makes me feel stupid.

-I’ve always felt unworthy of love and have a hard time trying to feel better cause it seems I cant find people who accept me.

-It’s embarrassing that I cant do things sometimes b/c of financial reasons.

-I could lose a few pounds and I feel people make fun of me but I keep my head held high.

-My boyfriend cheated on me and I don’t want to lose him.

-I don’t value myself.

-I am the girl everyone gossips about.

-I feel ashamed and unwanted from losing my virginity.

-I hate knowing that at any moment, my life could be taken from me and I could just go to hell bc I never really found Him. It just sucks.

-I worry that no one will ever want to date or marry me.

-I am so self-conscious. I think hard about simple things like the best way to walk to the teachers desk.

-I’ve been called ugly and it makes me insecure.

-My depression is really bad right now. There’s a darkness I cant get out of. It hurts my parents and I hate myself for hurting them.

-It’s only been a few months since I last cut myself. I want to cut everyday. No one knows about my self-harm and I don’t think they’d care if they did.

-I have terrible relationship with my mom; I hardly want to talk to her and its killing me.

-The depression that I feel is overwhelming bc I lost my best friend of 5 years.

-My father wants to get back in my life. We had no contact for 11 years. I just don’t think he has the right to pretend like it never happened and that everything is ok.

-I used to cut myself and it gets harder not to do it again every day.

-I’m always worried about keeping my grades up bc I don’t want to disappoint my parents.

-My dad is an alcoholic. He’s been in & out of jail. He tried committing suicide. It’s not really fair for me to keep giving him chances but I really miss my old dad.

-I feel very unneeded, unwanted and unattractive.

-I feel like my mom doesn’t care for me at all.

-I lost my dad at age 17. I miss him so much. It feels like part of me is living in a pile of wet dirt. I just want to be happy.

-I am no longer a virgin and I have a shattered heart. I just want to know that God loves me no matter what I’ve done.

-My relationship with my dad is a constant struggle. I’m continuously trying to find new ways to build boundaries with him and not feel responsible for his happiness.

-I really want to attend college but we don’t have the finances.

-I feel comfortable with myself but others criticize me for being chubby. I hate it.

-I do value myself but other people always take me as a joke.

-I feel like my mom blames me for what happened to our family…for taking away my father. I feel like she won’t forgive me.

-I struggled with anorexia and was almost placed in a treatment center. Being at a healthy weight is terrifying to me but I know I have to do it to live.

-I really don’t feel accepted by people, even though I’m a cheerleader. It’s always been that way. I’ve thought of suicide and I’ve been cutting myself for 4-5 years now.

-My dad is an alcoholic. The situation is emotionally exhausting.

-Sometimes I feel like I am the ugliest girl in the world. I feel hurt by jokes and comments/questions of my past mistakes.

-I wasn’t “blessed” like other girls. People pick on me, light-heartedly, including my bf but they don’t realize it’s a struggle. 

Pray for us.