i. love. fall.

so it's my most favorite time of year. here's why:
1. COLLEGE FOOTBALL
2. i love fall
3. i love the weather changing.
4. crockpot is coming out!
5. all of my favorite holidays are coming :)
6. college football
7. fall family extravaganza - cant wait to introduce vasa to smores.
8. TAs kicks off for the year!
9. great running weather
10. college football.

i really do love this time of year. i like for september - december to go slowly. i want to savor every minute of the weather, sports, holidays, family, chili, motorcycle rides with jay (new goal!) and more.

i have a confession to make. i LOOOOOOOOOOOVE christmas. yes, i am "that girl" that starts celebrating waayyyy early. in october i pull out my christmas music. the DAY after thanksgiving i decorate my house (if not before.) and i am OK with it. here's why. if thanksgiving was in march - we'd ALL start celebrating christmas before the end of november. you know we would!! we just think we have to wait b/c of thanksgiving. well friend...i do not wait. i love that time of year. i love christmas music, decorations and movies. so back off and let me celebrate!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now, i know i sound all giddy about the fall & the holidays (and i am.) but i have also had a super hard week. i know its the enemy. labor day weekend we had our TA fall retreat. it was amazing. i know we say that every year but God did some mighty, miraculous things on the retreat. i'm blown away with what high school students are facing these days. i couldn't be more proud of a group of kids.

but i came home exhausted. and honestly instead of fighting the enemy & his evil lies...i just laid down and let him beat me up. so i've been defeated, fleshy and struggling with old negative thoughts & sin. i hate it. i have zero shame in asking for you to pray for me. i need it!

thankfully i have a husband who loves me and prays for me. the Lord uses jay to speak to me often. jay speaks TRUTH into my life and reminds me of Gods faithfulness. i am blessed. sunday night i let it all out. i told jay all the lies i'd been believing and the fears i'd been struggling with. he talked me through every hurt. he never got frustrated or upset with me. he just listened and responded. i left that conversation filled with Gods peace.

i started freaking out about adoption stuff along with self-image stuff last week. i got down thinking we're going to have to wait forever for a baby. i got overwhelmed (again) by the amount of paperwork and stuff to do. but again God gave me peace. i love knowing that: HE is the giver of life, His timing is perfect and HE has the perfect baby for us.

i learned my lesson while waiting to be married! i wanted a husband long before God gave me one :) but HE put jay in my life at the RIGHT time. i am thankful i didnt settle for less than what God desired for me. i don't want to "settle" when it comes to my child either. i wouldn't taken the first baby we were offered! but i am learning (again) to trust Gods perfect timing. so even if it's a year before we have a baby in our home...i'm ok! jay and i have decided to ENJOY every minute of "just us" we have and wait excitedly for what God has for us.

i hope this makes sense. my thoughts are going in a million directions...mainly on lunch. whew, i'm hungry!

thanks for loving me and caring enough to read my blog.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Realizing more & more about this move...

It's been just over 4 months since we left GA. I can't even begin to tell you all that these 4 months have brought. But I'm going to try... Leaving Columbus was hard. Leaving family was the worst. I'll never forget that last Sunday with my family. I'll never forget weeping through church sitting next to my family thinking "I can't leave them." I'll never forget crying...let's be honest...weeping the entire time I drove that Sunday afternoon. I cried most of Monday as well. (I'm crying now just typing about it.)  I knew I loved my family but the thought of not seeing them at least once a week broke me hard.  The first several weeks I cried every Saturday evening. I don't know what it was about Saturdays but I fell apart. I missed my family. I wanted to be able to see them at church the next morning. I missed my church family, my running buddies, my neighbors...I missed "normal" life.  But as the weeks went on the Lo...
Read more

just the beginning...

I cant believe I’m sitting in my living room with the most precious little boy swinging & sleeping in a graco swing. I still have moments of unbelief. We made it! We are parents. We have a SON!! And he is perfect. I wish you all could’ve been with us every minute of the past couple weeks. It has been a WILD, exciting ride! I’m sure there will be hundreds of details that I leave out…but I’ll fill those in later (if I think of them.) Let’s back up to the week after Christmas. We got an email about a baby… I remember getting the email like it was yesterday. The subject line read: ¾ caucasian ¼ Hispanic baby boy born 12/14. It had pictures attached. I JUMPED up off of the couch and went to the bathroom (jay was showering) to tell him about it. We’d gotten pretty good at staying calm when receiving these emails but the pictures just made this one feel special. I remember sending a reply saying we were ABSOLUTELY interested 3 times. I didn’t mean to send it 3 times… We asked...
Read more

intimidation

Had a funny moment on my run this morning. Some guy was walking his dog (the little fluffy kind that you know his wife made him take out while she stayed warm at home!) anyway, I was running through a neighborhood and saw them ahead of me. the dog wasn’t on a leash & was running along a pretty good way in front of his owner. So of course when I run by the dog he chases me. well I figured I’d jog there while the owner caught up so the dog didn’t get hit by a car. The guy was trying to run towards us…but he was all jacked up! He was holding a cup of coffee (that I wanted to steal & chug) and was running all kinda awkward. He thanked me & said he’d just finished a spin class at the gym and couldn’t get his legs to work. it cracked me up. I wish I could describe how he was running…think of a bow-legged man, barefoot running on rocks, with coffee in hand… Spin class = hell on earth. I really hate that class. I gave it my best shot. I tried to do it once a week for a while there...
Read more