i. love. fall.

so it's my most favorite time of year. here's why:
1. COLLEGE FOOTBALL
2. i love fall
3. i love the weather changing.
4. crockpot is coming out!
5. all of my favorite holidays are coming :)
6. college football
7. fall family extravaganza - cant wait to introduce vasa to smores.
8. TAs kicks off for the year!
9. great running weather
10. college football.

i really do love this time of year. i like for september - december to go slowly. i want to savor every minute of the weather, sports, holidays, family, chili, motorcycle rides with jay (new goal!) and more.

i have a confession to make. i LOOOOOOOOOOOVE christmas. yes, i am "that girl" that starts celebrating waayyyy early. in october i pull out my christmas music. the DAY after thanksgiving i decorate my house (if not before.) and i am OK with it. here's why. if thanksgiving was in march - we'd ALL start celebrating christmas before the end of november. you know we would!! we just think we have to wait b/c of thanksgiving. well friend...i do not wait. i love that time of year. i love christmas music, decorations and movies. so back off and let me celebrate!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now, i know i sound all giddy about the fall & the holidays (and i am.) but i have also had a super hard week. i know its the enemy. labor day weekend we had our TA fall retreat. it was amazing. i know we say that every year but God did some mighty, miraculous things on the retreat. i'm blown away with what high school students are facing these days. i couldn't be more proud of a group of kids.

but i came home exhausted. and honestly instead of fighting the enemy & his evil lies...i just laid down and let him beat me up. so i've been defeated, fleshy and struggling with old negative thoughts & sin. i hate it. i have zero shame in asking for you to pray for me. i need it!

thankfully i have a husband who loves me and prays for me. the Lord uses jay to speak to me often. jay speaks TRUTH into my life and reminds me of Gods faithfulness. i am blessed. sunday night i let it all out. i told jay all the lies i'd been believing and the fears i'd been struggling with. he talked me through every hurt. he never got frustrated or upset with me. he just listened and responded. i left that conversation filled with Gods peace.

i started freaking out about adoption stuff along with self-image stuff last week. i got down thinking we're going to have to wait forever for a baby. i got overwhelmed (again) by the amount of paperwork and stuff to do. but again God gave me peace. i love knowing that: HE is the giver of life, His timing is perfect and HE has the perfect baby for us.

i learned my lesson while waiting to be married! i wanted a husband long before God gave me one :) but HE put jay in my life at the RIGHT time. i am thankful i didnt settle for less than what God desired for me. i don't want to "settle" when it comes to my child either. i wouldn't taken the first baby we were offered! but i am learning (again) to trust Gods perfect timing. so even if it's a year before we have a baby in our home...i'm ok! jay and i have decided to ENJOY every minute of "just us" we have and wait excitedly for what God has for us.

i hope this makes sense. my thoughts are going in a million directions...mainly on lunch. whew, i'm hungry!

thanks for loving me and caring enough to read my blog.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Realizing more & more about this move...

It's been just over 4 months since we left GA. I can't even begin to tell you all that these 4 months have brought. But I'm going to try... Leaving Columbus was hard. Leaving family was the worst. I'll never forget that last Sunday with my family. I'll never forget weeping through church sitting next to my family thinking "I can't leave them." I'll never forget crying...let's be honest...weeping the entire time I drove that Sunday afternoon. I cried most of Monday as well. (I'm crying now just typing about it.)  I knew I loved my family but the thought of not seeing them at least once a week broke me hard.  The first several weeks I cried every Saturday evening. I don't know what it was about Saturdays but I fell apart. I missed my family. I wanted to be able to see them at church the next morning. I missed my church family, my running buddies, my neighbors...I missed "normal" life.  But as the weeks went on the Lo
Read more

Lil update on us, Village Church and more

I just told Jay how much I love it here. I recently posted a blog about what the Lord has done in my heart here. I'm still not over it. My heart & mind feel as fresh as the mountain air. CHEESY but so very true and my heart is full. God has blown us away with His faithfulness. He is everywhere. He amazes me daily, hourly. He has helped Gabe's heart go from "I'm never leaving Columbus." back in May to "I hope we never leave Angel Fire, ever." I feel ya kid. I feel ya. Here's a few stories I wish I could tell each of you over coffee... One Friday night, a month ago or so, we made coffee and put out some snacks in preparation for our weekly service. (Still being held at our house for three more weeks!) We had a rather small group that night I think there may have been 10 of us. We began like any other night - in worship. We began singing our last song and I kid you not it sounded like there were 200+ people singing with us. At first I thou
Read more

i'm no expert

i do not claim to know ANYTHING about parenting. i've only been one 2.5 years and still text/call/email my mom and sister-in-law about everything. i'm pushing 36 so i'm not just out of high school either. but i have spent the last 15 years (between being a Young Life leader and working for Teen Advisors) walking through life with high school students and i've picked up on some things. i've mentioned some of these things before so forgive me if i repeat myself. the most important thing i've learned about teenagers - no matter how nerdy, popular, emo, cool, punkish, quiet, obnoxious, annoying they are - is that they desire CONSISTENCY. yep, they simply want someone to be consistent in their life. i have very little wisdom to share with the TAs i spend my time with. but i show up. i ask questions. i encourage them. sometimes i call them out on their foolishness. but i am THERE. so put your phone down, put away the computer, turn off the TV and spend tim
Read more