Jesus, friends and life

you know how you can hear something numerous times but then for some reason you hear it again and it just clicks?? well that happened for me several weeks ago and it has been life changing...

when it comes to other people or life in general i wouldn't consider myself a negative thinker. but when it comes to myself...i have been very much a negative thinker. i put myself down often. sometimes i would just think bad thoughts in my mind and other times i would say them out loud.

well, precious DeeDee taught us about the tremendous effect our words have on our lives. she taught about it for an hour and a half at our last growth group. but i told her afterwards she couldn't stopped after her first sentence and it would've been enough to convince me. she said, "In the beginning, God believed and spoke creation into being."

His WORDS created!! wow.

that grabbed my heart and mind.

so since then i have really been challenging myself to watch my thoughts and words towards myself. i will not say negative things about myself out loud (which is CHALLENGING!) and i won't even allow myself to think them.

it really has changed me. i am thankful. i am thankful for Gods Truth and the freedom it brings. 

i am also thankful for friends who hold me accountable and ask me how i'm doing with it...(meghan!)

yesterday was a tough day with my negative thinking. i really had to stop myself. i probably looked insane driving with G to his doctors appointment. i was really struggling and i said out loud with hand motions :) ...i will NOT believe or speak that about myself. no, no, no!  G looked at me like i had lost my mind and giggled. 

i am the worst at doctors appts with G. i don't like watching him get shots. ugh my heart. he cried BIG OL tears yesterday. it is so tough when he looks at me like why you are holding me here and letting this happen?? i just hugged him. it sucked.

he did, however, get loose several times. the nurses kept leaving the door propped open. he's so dang quick! so i chased him down the hall with nothing but his diaper on, twice. way to go mom.

she did brag on how smart he is. she was so proud of his vocab, his ability to count, recognize colors, etc. i was proud of that. (umm, thanks Mimi!)

we had chocolate chip cookies on the way home. that helped him get over his shots. he said all night "hurt you." i felt awful. at least he got cool bandaids. we dont buy cool ones.

his bday party was SUPER fun. that was sunday afternoon. the banana splits were delish. Gs face lights UP with vasa comes around so serisously he was in heaven having V over for a couple hours. it was a really fun, loud, chaotic party. i loved it. the candy bar was fun too. who knew people loved mike & ikes so much? i dont even know what they are. i was just looking for candy that matched our curious george theme colors. whoppers, red mike & ikes and tootsie rolls. i wanted lemonheads but dang...couldnt find them in bulk!?

last night we had friends over for supper and to play games. it was such a fun night! i was having a super tough day so i wanted to cancel that mess and crawl in bed like a hermit but i knew i couldn't :)  as soon as luke & hannah arrived though i was immediately happy! then andy and chelsea came (so.darn.cute) and then mason and meghan! we had SUCH good food. let's talk about it...

i made (with mom!) tenderloin. yum. and salad.

hannah made gluten free & normal pig n the blankets. they were inhaled!

chelsea brought yummy carrots. 

andy brought delish hummus with pita and cucumbers.

meghan brought quinoa and green beans. both were big hits! the guys were digging quinoa!

during supper we all shared two good things about our day and one bad thing. we laughed A LOT. jay read scripture and we talked about our favorite parts. 

then we played a hilarious game which the girls WON!!! i dont the name of it.

all you need to know is jay had the word scallions. he was trying to get the guys to guess it. he said
"i think its potatoes in a sauce..." i died. i laughed and said no jay. so then he said "oh no i think its a seafood..." awesome.

the night was perfect. 

G loves his uncle poopy (Luke Smith!) he even said "texas" after luke yelled it :) jay and i were the only two that noticed but we were so proud!

i'm thankful that God puts fun, god loving people in my life. i am thankful that we can laugh, share life, eat, and talk about God together. i am thankful that i can be real with my friends when i'm struggling and when i'm celebrating. i am thankful they don't mind G hanging out with us :)  

i always laugh that i am socially awkward. give me a microphone in front of hundreds of people and i am in my element! but small groups, parties, chit chat...oh Lord i am such a  DORK.

i wish i had better self confidence! i think i'm getting there with Gods help :)

so if you've ever invited me to a party or a small gathering...please know i'm NOT stuck up. i'm just a complete nerd.

wait, did i just fail at what DD taught me?! haha. oops.

happy wednesday. christmas is NEXT WEEK. what?