just because

i know that i probably drive folks crazy missing jay when he is away. i know that these 8-11 day mission trips are a breeze compared to what army families deal with...let alone single parents. but here's why i think it's ok for me to miss jay...  he's my husband :) it'd be sad if i didn't miss him, right?! so until he gets home tomorrow and starts leaving his shoes/clothes laying around and making loud mouth noises... let me share some reasons why he is a husband/dad/friend that is missed... he sets the tone for our house...and its a happy, godly place. he loves us well. he is extremely patient. he is super easy to get along with. he cares about people. he takes care of our cars, takes the trash & recycling out :) he wrestles with gabe. (poor kid asks me every night...i don't understand or enjoy rough-housing!) he greets us both every morning and evening with a smile and kind words. he shares bites of his food with us. he fills our home with l...

My super fun niece (Tori) gave me a list of 20 questions answer in my blog. So I am going to answer a few of them today. Should be fun! I love questions. 9 things I just cant handle… 1.       Feet without socks 2.       Mouth noises (smacking, loud eating, biting fingernails, etc.) 3.       Vomit 4.       Things being out of order (I like things in their place before I go to bed.) 5.       Lots of chaos. My nerves just fall apart 6.       Small talk. I’m SOOOOO bad at it. 7.       Animals. I don’t understand how people have pets on their furniture and in their bed. Ugh 8.       Couples who are obnoxiously cuddly/kissy in public. 9.       Couples who use pet names. Gross. (unless they are silly ones like cool whip and squirrel nut!) Who wou...

jay went out of town this weekend to lead worship with some guys. so it was just me and g. for you single moms and military wives out there - you are my heroes. before jay left (for a weekend only mind you!) i got really anxious and sometimes angry. the truth is, some of that was just flesh/selfishness. all i could think was "i'll never get a break...what if he pitches fits? ...when will i get to relax and do my own thing..." gross. really kaci? get your mind off your dang self. ugh. so ashamed of myself!! i must confess g was PHENOMENAL. it was the sweetest 3 days we've had in months. i am not exaggerating. he made me laugh a lot. he didn't pitch fits. he was just my lil buddy that went everywhere with me! what a delight. i figured out that when i am working and only see him several hours in the morning and at night....i lose confidence in my mothering skills. when really - it is a gift. it is a delight. sure, he has his moments...but don't we all...

since my post earlier this week was rather depressing, i thought i'd write one of my pointless random blogs to lighten the mood. 1. somebody in ft benning has got to be injured. bombs.not.stop. this morning. i kinda like it. is that weird? it makes me feel cool that we have that close to our town. 2. i had a "runners moment" this morning. went flying into one of the bathrooms at lake bottom. someone was definitely asleep in the last stall. i felt bad...for turning on the lights AND umm....waking them with my "moment." i did turn the light off so hopefully they went right on back to sleep. 3. gabe loves to dance. it's my new favorite thing. anytime he hears music he says "dance" which sounds a lot like "grits." so we do. he tries to imitate what i'm (or jay) is doing. awesome. 4. i like old people. but not on wednesdays at publix. move your cart, move faster, don't glare at me when i try to squeeze by. there's another p...

gosh the past several months have just not been my best. ugh. talk about struggling. i probably share too much. i may even be annoying to some people with my honesty and issues. but sometimes it just feels good to get it out. get things in the light. so yet again, here i go... i've not done well lately with focusing on the things that really matter. i go back and forth with thinking clearly and not selfishly. my problem is not watching my mouth and my mind! i think things and say things even though i know (b/c i JUST blogged about it!!) that my words have a lot of power. its disgusting and i hate myself for it. but i am again struggling with the weight i have put on. i know to some of you that is probably absolutely annoying. i know. you may wanna slap me. you may wanna call me self-centered, neurotic...etc and i probably deserve it. but....before you jump on me...please remember we all have our "issues" and this one happens to be mine. thats NOT an excuse. i am...