a weekend with g
jay went out of town this weekend to lead worship with some guys. so it was just me and g.
for you single moms and military wives out there - you are my heroes. before jay left (for a weekend only mind you!) i got really anxious and sometimes angry.
the truth is, some of that was just flesh/selfishness. all i could think was "i'll never get a break...what if he pitches fits? ...when will i get to relax and do my own thing..." gross. really kaci? get your mind off your dang self. ugh. so ashamed of myself!!
i must confess g was PHENOMENAL.
it was the sweetest 3 days we've had in months. i am not exaggerating.
he made me laugh a lot. he didn't pitch fits. he was just my lil buddy that went everywhere with me! what a delight.
i figured out that when i am working and only see him several hours in the morning and at night....i lose confidence in my mothering skills. when really - it is a gift. it is a delight. sure, he has his moments...but don't we all?!
spending lots of one-on-one time with him reminds me that I am the parent. he is the child. so if things are stressful or he seems out of sorts....it is MY job to fix the situation. it's ME that has to think and ask..."what is it he needs from me right now that i am not giving him?"
of course sometimes that answer is a simple one. like, he wants to watch curious george but he's already watched it today. so its my job to distract him. find something else that will make him happy/content.
i have learned that if he's just fussy or grumpy...there's a reason. he's either hungry, tired or bored. again, all things I am the "fixer" of.
being alone with him helped me see how fun he is. he entertained me! he was more fun than those "things" i thought i'd rather be doing.
he slowed me down. (in a wonderful way!)
-he walks slower than i do. so we took our time everywhere we went.
-he eats slower than i do. so we took our time at meals.
-he naps for 2 hours each day. so i rested/worked quietly for 2 hours each day.
we went to CVS yesterday and instead of pushing him quickly through the toy isle. i sat on the floor with him (yes, i got weird looks) and played with him. we wound up all the weird dancing things and danced and laughed a lot.
we had actual conversations. sang tons of songs, read lots of books, snuggled, tickled, wrestled, rolled in the yard, played on the swings, did laundry, dishes, etc. together and it was perfect.
here are some other favorite memories from the weekend:
- he said "hey birds" and waved when he saw them fly by. (oh my heart.)
-he said several sentences: "that flag is blowing in the wind, want mickey mouse bandaid, and one other thing i keep forgetting! ugh.
-he told me exactly what he wanted to eat at most meals. i certainly appreciate that!
-yesterday he wanted his hammer. so i tried to explain to him where it was. at first he said "what?" then i repeated..."its in your room, in the basket, by your barn." he responded "otay!" and went directly to it. i was so proud.
-he was eating a slice of banana and said "circle." then he drew one on paper.
-he waited patiently ALL DAY to watch his new thomas the train video. really, all day. he made it through lunch with friends, running errands, playing the yard, bath time and dinner before he finally got to watch it. so patient. although he did carry it around with him.
-he also took his hand saw EVERYWHERE. including bed. so that's how i knew he was awake. i heard him sawing off the side of his bed. awesome.
-he did help me clean up the house every night. that was precious.
one of my favorite moments was this morning. well 2 fun moments this AM.
- first (obviously being a mom i've had to let go of a super clean house!) he went to the kitchen and unloaded every pot, pan and lid. i walked in. my flesh wanted to be frustrated. but he looked at me, threw his arms in the air and while shaking his hands (jazz hands!) he said "tada!!!!" perfect.
- then i was walking to the laundry room and he came running in. he said "mom, i want to dance." reached his hands up and we held hands and danced in the kitchen. no music. just us, dancing.
what a guy. i am smitten. :)
so here's what i learned. there will be times when the task ahead of me seems unfair, daunting, scary, and i may feel unable/unqualified to do the job. but God is faithful, He is with me and He has every ounce of strength, wisdom, peace, love and joy to get the job done. thank YOU Lord.
i don't know how people do life without Jesus.
for you single moms and military wives out there - you are my heroes. before jay left (for a weekend only mind you!) i got really anxious and sometimes angry.
the truth is, some of that was just flesh/selfishness. all i could think was "i'll never get a break...what if he pitches fits? ...when will i get to relax and do my own thing..." gross. really kaci? get your mind off your dang self. ugh. so ashamed of myself!!
i must confess g was PHENOMENAL.
it was the sweetest 3 days we've had in months. i am not exaggerating.
he made me laugh a lot. he didn't pitch fits. he was just my lil buddy that went everywhere with me! what a delight.
i figured out that when i am working and only see him several hours in the morning and at night....i lose confidence in my mothering skills. when really - it is a gift. it is a delight. sure, he has his moments...but don't we all?!
spending lots of one-on-one time with him reminds me that I am the parent. he is the child. so if things are stressful or he seems out of sorts....it is MY job to fix the situation. it's ME that has to think and ask..."what is it he needs from me right now that i am not giving him?"
of course sometimes that answer is a simple one. like, he wants to watch curious george but he's already watched it today. so its my job to distract him. find something else that will make him happy/content.
i have learned that if he's just fussy or grumpy...there's a reason. he's either hungry, tired or bored. again, all things I am the "fixer" of.
being alone with him helped me see how fun he is. he entertained me! he was more fun than those "things" i thought i'd rather be doing.
he slowed me down. (in a wonderful way!)
-he walks slower than i do. so we took our time everywhere we went.
-he eats slower than i do. so we took our time at meals.
-he naps for 2 hours each day. so i rested/worked quietly for 2 hours each day.
we went to CVS yesterday and instead of pushing him quickly through the toy isle. i sat on the floor with him (yes, i got weird looks) and played with him. we wound up all the weird dancing things and danced and laughed a lot.
we had actual conversations. sang tons of songs, read lots of books, snuggled, tickled, wrestled, rolled in the yard, played on the swings, did laundry, dishes, etc. together and it was perfect.
here are some other favorite memories from the weekend:
- he said "hey birds" and waved when he saw them fly by. (oh my heart.)
-he said several sentences: "that flag is blowing in the wind, want mickey mouse bandaid, and one other thing i keep forgetting! ugh.
-he told me exactly what he wanted to eat at most meals. i certainly appreciate that!
-yesterday he wanted his hammer. so i tried to explain to him where it was. at first he said "what?" then i repeated..."its in your room, in the basket, by your barn." he responded "otay!" and went directly to it. i was so proud.
-he was eating a slice of banana and said "circle." then he drew one on paper.
-he waited patiently ALL DAY to watch his new thomas the train video. really, all day. he made it through lunch with friends, running errands, playing the yard, bath time and dinner before he finally got to watch it. so patient. although he did carry it around with him.
-he also took his hand saw EVERYWHERE. including bed. so that's how i knew he was awake. i heard him sawing off the side of his bed. awesome.
-he did help me clean up the house every night. that was precious.
one of my favorite moments was this morning. well 2 fun moments this AM.
- first (obviously being a mom i've had to let go of a super clean house!) he went to the kitchen and unloaded every pot, pan and lid. i walked in. my flesh wanted to be frustrated. but he looked at me, threw his arms in the air and while shaking his hands (jazz hands!) he said "tada!!!!" perfect.
- then i was walking to the laundry room and he came running in. he said "mom, i want to dance." reached his hands up and we held hands and danced in the kitchen. no music. just us, dancing.
what a guy. i am smitten. :)
so here's what i learned. there will be times when the task ahead of me seems unfair, daunting, scary, and i may feel unable/unqualified to do the job. but God is faithful, He is with me and He has every ounce of strength, wisdom, peace, love and joy to get the job done. thank YOU Lord.
i don't know how people do life without Jesus.
I needed to read this! My husband will be gone for 4 days next week and I am terrified! Not because of the 4 kids-- they are old enough to be helpful (and not pitch fits.) But we take care of y mom who is bed-ridden and he is so much help. My flesh is screaming, too!
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