hmm

i wish that my blogs were profound and full of wisdom. but i'm pretty sure that's never going to be the case. i'm not theological and i don't think before i start a blog so let's just let that dream go!

happy friday.

i have had an interesting, somewhat challenging couple weeks...spiritually. we have a girls staff growth group on thursday afternoons led by Dee Dee Stephens. it is the highlight of my work week. i love it.

i just want to take a minute and tell you how much i LOVE D2. seriously, she is fabulous. she's honest, encouraging, WISE, loving and faithful. she's walked through a lot of junk with me and i am a better Christian, wife, mom, and employee because of it. everyone should get to spend time with D2. it's only fair.

anyway, our group is fun. someone (almost) always cries. we share very honestly about everything. i appreciate the fact that D2 doesn't even mind if we share about work stress or discouragement.

the past couple weeks we have had homework. mostly journaling about crucifying our flesh and taking our thoughts captive. wow, having to write it down is very eye-opening! it definitely has caused me to pay more attention to my fleshy desires and how often i am hit with negative thoughts.

this week, out of nowhere, i caught myself in an old sin. i was sitting outside of a coffee shop with two super precious friends...and all of the sudden i was hit with a picture of myself sitting there with them and being HUGE, gross fat. i mean in an instant i wanted to get up and get out of there. i was so ashamed of my body. what?! where did that come from???  the old Kaci would've taken that thought on as truth and been convinced of how gross i was but instead i took that thought captive to the obedience of Christ and turned my eyes on Him.

thank the LORD. i was proud to be able to write in my journal that i recognized that fiery dart and took it straight to Christ. ahhhhh, the peace that it brings, amen?! :)

my journal is full of failures that with Gods help i turned into victories. ohhh how i am thankful for Him.

i have REALLY been struggling with my job. just feeling like a failure. desiring to see TAs grow, hoping for new schools to come on board and not seeing results. ugh, its depressing.

i won't lie. it got bad. like looking for job openings bad...  but i am holding on to the belief that He has called me to this job. He will calm my fears, help me through the dry spells and take care of TAs like He has for 20 something years.

Lord forgive me for not trusting. Help me to listen to You...

i can also say that i work with some AMAZING girls. molly baker, anna justice...ALWAYS bring me joy. leah carr - such a faithful friend who never judges me!! susan, cindy, jackie, jessica, allison - never fail to bring a smile to my face. and now adding katherine...i LOVE it.

what a great gift they are.

gabe news - he's almost 2! what?!  still the coolest kid i've ever known. curious george party in the works!

it wouldn't be a kaci post without some sort of list! here's some random things i am thankful for:
- long sleeved tshirts
- running buddies! madison, meghan, danelle, julia, jenny...i am so thankful.
- that i am NOT running a marathon tomorrow.
- they sell pb2 at walmart
- that people do blog stuff with a point. i am blessed daily by blogs!
- christmas movies. i have them written on my planner. one a week til christmas. this week was polar express.
- a husband that doesn't mind that i decorate for christmas early (and clean it up early!)
- my family. really. blessed.
- GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD reports all around for my precious cousin who is like a sister to me.
- carbs. people that dont eat carbs make no sense to me
- laughter
- that we only have staff meeting once a month. (like big ones...meetings aren't my thing.)
- saturdays on the couch, in pjs, watching football with my boys.

i am not thankful for:
roaches
sleepless nights
cold sheets
the fact that i cant eat spinach
sore knees
the awful, tacky way the landing decorates for christmas. make.it.stop.