16 year old kaci....
tori asked for a quick piece of advice i'd give my 16 year old self. so here goes. (PS i never think before i blog i just start typing. so this wont be brilliant!)
- keep God first. amen.
(i guess that could really be the end. its all we need!)
it's so true. never once have i regretted following hard after the heart of God. not once.
- relax. laugh. enjoy life and let God be in control of everything.
- DO NOT try to be in control. the times i told God i had to be in control are the times i got myself in the biggest messes.
- don't break up with someone b/c you "arent focused on God." that annoys me. you can't walk away from a marriage if you aren't keeping God first. learn to do it in a relationship.
- i know that the advice "guard your heart" can sound cheesy. but no joke. God knew what He was doing when He put it in the Bible. i didn't guard my heart with jay in the early years and OH MY did it have consequences.
i'm not blaming jay. he was honest with me. i knew we weren't dating or together...yet i let my heart think that way and fall for him. we were best friends. oh gosh, we had the sweetest, most fun, deep friendship. we hung out all the time. but i knew he didn't feel the same way i did...yet i let myself hope and kinda believe he did.
please know - i did pray. i asked God if i could be with jay. he didn't tell me no. he simply said "not now." but i wasn't having it. i went for it. (poor choice.)
not sure any of this is making sense.
he will admit he did treat me differently than "just a friend." and he did love me dearly! which was confusing and hard for me. he would say things and do things that a boyfriend would...not just a friend. which totally left me feeling worthless and not "enough"
SO - this relationship without a label left me heart broken, confused and honestly ashamed.
i'm NOT blaming all this on jay! please hear that.
but all of this left my self-esteem/image in shambles. i thought i was too fat and too ugly to be someones girlfriend. (bc i thought he was too ashamed to admit he liked me...)
so girls. GUARD YOUR HEART. don't be in a one-sided relationship!! if he won't commit or if you know the relationship isn't pleasing to God...get out. GET OUT.
being disobedient to God when he told me "not now" with jay...left me in a (at least) 6 year battle with feeling worthless.
God is enough. you cannot find your worth in a guy.
- obey your parents. if you can't honor them, how can you honor God? (unless they are asking you to do something completely against Gods Word, etc.)
- do your best in school but good grief...enjoy high school!
- do not have something going on EVERY DAY after school. at least 2 week nights a week be at home.
this isn't advice to me. i was at home most nights and i do NOT regret it. having supper with my family
every night at 6pm is one of Gods greatest gifts to me, ever.
- pick one sport and one artsy type thing to be involved in (at a time)
- honor your future spouse and children when you make decisions. it matters.
- don't spend ridiculous amounts of money on prom dresses. borrow those mugs.
- be nice to everyone. pay attention to lonely people. be nice to them.
- dont try to grow up too fast. enjoy every age! being an adult is overrated (ha!)
- seriously, don't just look to the "next thing." enjoy every stage. being engaged/married/a parent, etc. are all wonderful things! but they aren't the answer to life. enjoy being single. travel! then when you do meet someone take your time getting to know them. you don't have to rush anything :) when you do get engaged ENJOY it too! focus on your marriage not your wedding day. sure, enjoy wedding planning but marriage is forever. your wedding day is one DAY. same with kids. they are wonderful. but enjoy your spouse for a bit :)
- dont compromise who you are for popularity or "friends." not worth it.
- learn something new every year! jay does this and i love it. pick something and go with it. like piano, guitar, cooking, etc.
- dont be needy...in relationships, on facebook (lawd!) or at all really.
- don't put stupid pictures on fb or instagram. you are going to want a job one day! people will stalk you, ha. so don't be an idiot.
- learn good work ethic. you aren't entitled to anything. get a job. do your chores. dont be a brat.
- learn how to change a tire, read a map, balance a banking account, budget money, cook, CLEAN, wash clothes, etc.
- tithe. God always honors it.
- memorize scripture
- be wise in who you spend your time with
- my awesome friend courtney gave this advice to ava entering middle school and i love it. "remember the way your mom and dad have raised you and even when people are not watching, continue to live by the Truth that they have demonstrated in your life. 'because of my integrity, you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.' psalm 41"
- do NOT compare yourself to others.
- also don't be all self-conscious like i am (ha!) truth is...no body is paying that much attention! we are all too caught up in our own selves to notice others.
(seriously sometimes i worry about weight or a zit, etc. and honestly no one around me even sees it...yet it takes up my every thought. so silly.)
this is long. i'm gonna finish with some quick thoughts....
- laugh
- spend time with family. they will always be there.
- don't be selfish
- read. turn off the TV.
- remember to be at home at least two afternoon and evening a week!!
- have an accountability partner and mentor
- be nice
- serve others. work at a soup kitchen or volunteer at least once a month.
- pray
- understand Gods grace
- also understand Gods discipline and stay reverent
- its ok if you don't make the soccer team, cheer leading squad or whatever. i cant even name the people that were on those teams growing up. there's no harm in trying for things but don't let it define your worth.
- respect authority
- listen to people when they share advice. especially people older than you. they've been there. also, other people can see things we can't when we are in the middle of something. so if lots of people are telling you the same thing...............you may wanna listen.
i guess i'll stop. but i could go on...
- keep God first. amen.
(i guess that could really be the end. its all we need!)
it's so true. never once have i regretted following hard after the heart of God. not once.
- relax. laugh. enjoy life and let God be in control of everything.
- DO NOT try to be in control. the times i told God i had to be in control are the times i got myself in the biggest messes.
- don't break up with someone b/c you "arent focused on God." that annoys me. you can't walk away from a marriage if you aren't keeping God first. learn to do it in a relationship.
- i know that the advice "guard your heart" can sound cheesy. but no joke. God knew what He was doing when He put it in the Bible. i didn't guard my heart with jay in the early years and OH MY did it have consequences.
i'm not blaming jay. he was honest with me. i knew we weren't dating or together...yet i let my heart think that way and fall for him. we were best friends. oh gosh, we had the sweetest, most fun, deep friendship. we hung out all the time. but i knew he didn't feel the same way i did...yet i let myself hope and kinda believe he did.
please know - i did pray. i asked God if i could be with jay. he didn't tell me no. he simply said "not now." but i wasn't having it. i went for it. (poor choice.)
not sure any of this is making sense.
he will admit he did treat me differently than "just a friend." and he did love me dearly! which was confusing and hard for me. he would say things and do things that a boyfriend would...not just a friend. which totally left me feeling worthless and not "enough"
SO - this relationship without a label left me heart broken, confused and honestly ashamed.
i'm NOT blaming all this on jay! please hear that.
but all of this left my self-esteem/image in shambles. i thought i was too fat and too ugly to be someones girlfriend. (bc i thought he was too ashamed to admit he liked me...)
so girls. GUARD YOUR HEART. don't be in a one-sided relationship!! if he won't commit or if you know the relationship isn't pleasing to God...get out. GET OUT.
being disobedient to God when he told me "not now" with jay...left me in a (at least) 6 year battle with feeling worthless.
God is enough. you cannot find your worth in a guy.
- obey your parents. if you can't honor them, how can you honor God? (unless they are asking you to do something completely against Gods Word, etc.)
- do your best in school but good grief...enjoy high school!
- do not have something going on EVERY DAY after school. at least 2 week nights a week be at home.
this isn't advice to me. i was at home most nights and i do NOT regret it. having supper with my family
every night at 6pm is one of Gods greatest gifts to me, ever.
- pick one sport and one artsy type thing to be involved in (at a time)
- honor your future spouse and children when you make decisions. it matters.
- don't spend ridiculous amounts of money on prom dresses. borrow those mugs.
- be nice to everyone. pay attention to lonely people. be nice to them.
- dont try to grow up too fast. enjoy every age! being an adult is overrated (ha!)
- seriously, don't just look to the "next thing." enjoy every stage. being engaged/married/a parent, etc. are all wonderful things! but they aren't the answer to life. enjoy being single. travel! then when you do meet someone take your time getting to know them. you don't have to rush anything :) when you do get engaged ENJOY it too! focus on your marriage not your wedding day. sure, enjoy wedding planning but marriage is forever. your wedding day is one DAY. same with kids. they are wonderful. but enjoy your spouse for a bit :)
- dont compromise who you are for popularity or "friends." not worth it.
- learn something new every year! jay does this and i love it. pick something and go with it. like piano, guitar, cooking, etc.
- dont be needy...in relationships, on facebook (lawd!) or at all really.
- don't put stupid pictures on fb or instagram. you are going to want a job one day! people will stalk you, ha. so don't be an idiot.
- learn good work ethic. you aren't entitled to anything. get a job. do your chores. dont be a brat.
- learn how to change a tire, read a map, balance a banking account, budget money, cook, CLEAN, wash clothes, etc.
- tithe. God always honors it.
- memorize scripture
- be wise in who you spend your time with
- my awesome friend courtney gave this advice to ava entering middle school and i love it. "remember the way your mom and dad have raised you and even when people are not watching, continue to live by the Truth that they have demonstrated in your life. 'because of my integrity, you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.' psalm 41"
- do NOT compare yourself to others.
- also don't be all self-conscious like i am (ha!) truth is...no body is paying that much attention! we are all too caught up in our own selves to notice others.
(seriously sometimes i worry about weight or a zit, etc. and honestly no one around me even sees it...yet it takes up my every thought. so silly.)
this is long. i'm gonna finish with some quick thoughts....
- laugh
- spend time with family. they will always be there.
- don't be selfish
- read. turn off the TV.
- remember to be at home at least two afternoon and evening a week!!
- have an accountability partner and mentor
- be nice
- serve others. work at a soup kitchen or volunteer at least once a month.
- pray
- understand Gods grace
- also understand Gods discipline and stay reverent
- its ok if you don't make the soccer team, cheer leading squad or whatever. i cant even name the people that were on those teams growing up. there's no harm in trying for things but don't let it define your worth.
- respect authority
- listen to people when they share advice. especially people older than you. they've been there. also, other people can see things we can't when we are in the middle of something. so if lots of people are telling you the same thing...............you may wanna listen.
i guess i'll stop. but i could go on...
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