JAYYYY

Life can definitely be tough. I certainly have my struggles. But I laugh A LOT.

i grew up in a hilarious house and I have married a funny man. It’s fabulous.

Jay can make me laugh like no other. But he can also annoy me like no other. I told him a month or so ago that he is “precious & annoying.”

So let’s just talk about jay for a minute…

He cannot grocery shop. I (no joke) have to draw MAPS and write specific descriptions of things I need if I DARE send him to publix or wal-mart. My list looks like some sort of hardcore treasure hunt or top-secret army mission.

Sometimes I even write…no, no the GREEN one. b/c I know he’s got the wrong one in his hand.

he really, really tries though. It’s precious. He will always get at least ONE thing wrong. But it never ceases to crack me up. He tries.

I know he hates going. Don’t think I’m mean for sending him. Honestly, I only send him about once a month. And I kinda do it so he realizes that things don’t just appear in the kitchen each week. (not that I think he’s spoiled…)

One time wal-mart didn’t have his fiber-one pop tarts (ONE time…) so he ordered a box and had them delivered to our house. I don’t mean a box of 6. I mean a moving box full. I opened the “jay cabinet” one morning and died laughing. He took up 2 entire shelves. Awesome.

You never have to wonder where jay is in the house. He leaves a trail.

He comes in the door and drops keys, receipts, mail, and whatever else on the table by the door. Then he’s got to take off his shoes. Not in the closet or against the wall but right in the middle of the room so I’m sure to trip over them.

The computer is next. I guess he needs to keep an eye on it at all times b/c it sits on the ottoman/coffee table.

Oh, odds are, he grabbed a snack & diet green tea on the way in. So the wrapper & empty bottle will surely follow…

IF he decides to clean up his snack trash, he most likely will leave it on the counter just above the trashcan. I guess pushing it in the can is a bit much.

Same with putting away his clothes. MOST of the time I wash/dry & fold his clothes. I simply ask him to put them away. They might (after asking for 3 days) move from the laundry area to the dresser…but not IN the dresser. Just on top… perfect. That’s exactly what I wanted.

Here’s another thing I love about jay. I can always tell if he has done something different around the house. 

Here’s an example…

I sent him to wal-mart last week. I kindly texted him after he left & ask him to fight the urge to buy anything stupid or not needed (wasted text…)

This time a watermelon caught his eye…

Now, I KNEW when I walked into the kitchen the next morning that he’d done something. Wanna know why?? b/c the paper towel roll was empty. FEAR of what he did fell over me.

So I opened the fridge to find the LARGEST bowl we own, taking up the entire top shelf, a little more than half full of oddly (hilarious) shaped watermelon slices.

I’m beyond thankful I didn’t see him in action. I can’t even imagine.

I bought a new towel rack for our bathroom so he’d hang his towel on it instead of slung across the top of the shower and covering our cute shower curtain. Guess where it hangs…

His motorcycle helmet scares me at least once a week sitting in the guest bedroom.

Guitar picks slap me in the face every time I pull a pair of pants/shorts out of the dryer.

I could go on. I’m sure someday I will.

But I wouldn’t trade those things for anything.

He’s the most kind, loving, fun, compassionate, talented, selfless, easy-going, consistent, godly, handsome, patient, calm, hilarious, precious, annoying man I’ve ever met.

You may not know this but several years ago he & a couple other guys were shot at while working at the old CCC late one night. The next day I left this note for him…it kinda sums up our marriage -

Top 10 reasons I’m glad you didn’t die:

10. I’d have to vacuum.

9. I hate washing/taking care of my car.

8. I’d have to make 2 trips with groceries.

7. every month I’d get truck magazines in the mail.

6. I don’t know how to work all the TV stuff.

5. Asheville (eating at tupelo honey) just wouldn’t be the same without you.

4. what would I do with the dang scooter? (he’s sold that since to get the motorcycle.)

3. music at church would suck.

2. I wouldn’t be able to find the peanut butter.

1. I’d miss getting a bite of ALL your food.

Then I wrote some real reasons:

You are my best friend.

You are handsome & mine.

I cannot imagine trying to live without you. I miss you during the workday.

You are the most patient man I know.

You make me laugh like no one else.

You are an awesome worship leader.

You take good care of me.

Ava, allie & Addison would miss their “umple jay” (and vasa!)

You are an amazing son.

I waited so long to be with you, I’d be pissed if you died.

You KNOW me and still love me.

You are compassionate, caring & loving.

You are my most favorite person ever.

he's awesome. i am blessed.