supper
i know g is only 2. i am well aware that i am very new and do not know what life is like raising kids. but from my childhood, hearing my parents talk AND working with teenagers for 15 years now (between TAs and volunteering with YL) i have picked up on a few things.
so take it or leave it but here are some thoughts.
my mom shared something she heard last week at a conference. the guy said (i'm paraphrasing) "we don't want to raise good kids, we want to raise good adults."
amen.
of course we want our kids to behave. but it's not all about the kid years. i want g to learn how to be a godly man with character, chivalry, and integrity.
i want him to be well rounded. i hope he tries lots of different sports til he finds the one he loves the most. i hope he tries different instruments and other cultural type things...theater, art, etc. and then i hope he finds on he wants to focus on.
i look forward to watching him try and learn new things! it's already fun with counting, words, alphabet, songs, balance bike, etc right now!
but i'mma put my foot down on a few things. i'm saying it now...publicly....and you can call me out on it if i fail later on.
AT LEAST three nights a week we will sit down as a family and eat supper at home. we will talk, laugh, share about our days, read scripture and pray. we do it now every night (except thursday...jays at rehearsal) but it is something i pray i will hold to.
i know that as g gets older he is going to have homework, after school practice, games, etc. but i hope and pray that i will lay down the law and have him home at least 3 nights for supper.
all of those activities that he will surely want to be involved in are good things! it's great for him to be involved.
BUT it matters more that WE ARE INVOLVED in his life. not overbearing. but simply involved.
i think that most folks may scoff at this idea and say its impossible. i disagree. we are his parents.
my parents also shared from that conference that the majority successful, well-balanced, confident students/ teens/adults grew up in homes where supper as a family was a priority. (my mom may have to correct me on the specifics of that quote...)
i know that having supper as a family growing up helped me become who i am. (not that i am anything special!)
but it helped me KNOW my parents. we talked about our days. they laughed at our stupid stories from school. they asked about homework, practice, friends, God, etc. those times are my favorite memories.
- every night my brother would ball up his napkin and try to ring the trashcan.
- we all drank tea in obnoxious abundance
- mom would try new dishes and we'd make fun of it (and/or order pizza!)
- our meals were home cooked by both or either parent
- we all sat in the same seats whether we sat in the dining room or on the porch!
being together as a family helped me feel secure in so many ways...
- i knew i could talk to my parents about anything and i knew they had TIME to listen
- i knew my parents loved each other bc i saw their relationship
- i knew i was a priority to my parents bc they made sure they were home for supper!
i see so many teenagers that so badly want their parents to slow down and BE with them.
they aren't going to tell you that! but they desire it.
they want to know that they matter. that you will slow down your schedule, put down your phone, turn off the tv/laptop and LISTEN...BE with them.
they will grumble i bet, if you start this new "practice" with them. they will not like it if it means choosing one activity (sports, music, etc.) to be involved in per semester so that this is possible....
BUT THEY WILL NOT FORGET that you did it.
we've seen a huge shift in TAs lately and its sad.
our students used to be more involved in small bible studies in the afternoons or weekend events. but not so much anymore.
here's why - they are gone from home from 7:30am til sometimes (no kidding) 9pm. with rehearsals and practice. that is RIDICULOUS.
RIDICULOUS.
i could say a lot more. and maybe i will. but i wanna challenge parents to trying this...
at least 3 nights a week, supper as a family.
if you think they won't talk....have a question box! write random questions and ask them.
but i bet if you simply ask them about their life (consistently!) they'll share.
i'm 35. i'm not super cool. i'm a mom. but they share with me (and my coworkers) sometimes simply bc we ask.
with my growth groups we start each week by sharing 1 great thing from the past week, 2 good things and 1 bad.
all that does is open doors for them to share. my job....to remember what they shared and follow up!
i'm DO NOT pretend to know it all....or anything.
but you won't regret spending MORE PURPOSEFUL time with your kids...
the world won't regret it either b/c you'll raise good adults :)
amen.
so take it or leave it but here are some thoughts.
my mom shared something she heard last week at a conference. the guy said (i'm paraphrasing) "we don't want to raise good kids, we want to raise good adults."
amen.
of course we want our kids to behave. but it's not all about the kid years. i want g to learn how to be a godly man with character, chivalry, and integrity.
i want him to be well rounded. i hope he tries lots of different sports til he finds the one he loves the most. i hope he tries different instruments and other cultural type things...theater, art, etc. and then i hope he finds on he wants to focus on.
i look forward to watching him try and learn new things! it's already fun with counting, words, alphabet, songs, balance bike, etc right now!
but i'mma put my foot down on a few things. i'm saying it now...publicly....and you can call me out on it if i fail later on.
AT LEAST three nights a week we will sit down as a family and eat supper at home. we will talk, laugh, share about our days, read scripture and pray. we do it now every night (except thursday...jays at rehearsal) but it is something i pray i will hold to.
i know that as g gets older he is going to have homework, after school practice, games, etc. but i hope and pray that i will lay down the law and have him home at least 3 nights for supper.
all of those activities that he will surely want to be involved in are good things! it's great for him to be involved.
BUT it matters more that WE ARE INVOLVED in his life. not overbearing. but simply involved.
i think that most folks may scoff at this idea and say its impossible. i disagree. we are his parents.
my parents also shared from that conference that the majority successful, well-balanced, confident students/ teens/adults grew up in homes where supper as a family was a priority. (my mom may have to correct me on the specifics of that quote...)
i know that having supper as a family growing up helped me become who i am. (not that i am anything special!)
but it helped me KNOW my parents. we talked about our days. they laughed at our stupid stories from school. they asked about homework, practice, friends, God, etc. those times are my favorite memories.
- every night my brother would ball up his napkin and try to ring the trashcan.
- we all drank tea in obnoxious abundance
- mom would try new dishes and we'd make fun of it (and/or order pizza!)
- our meals were home cooked by both or either parent
- we all sat in the same seats whether we sat in the dining room or on the porch!
being together as a family helped me feel secure in so many ways...
- i knew i could talk to my parents about anything and i knew they had TIME to listen
- i knew my parents loved each other bc i saw their relationship
- i knew i was a priority to my parents bc they made sure they were home for supper!
i see so many teenagers that so badly want their parents to slow down and BE with them.
they aren't going to tell you that! but they desire it.
they want to know that they matter. that you will slow down your schedule, put down your phone, turn off the tv/laptop and LISTEN...BE with them.
they will grumble i bet, if you start this new "practice" with them. they will not like it if it means choosing one activity (sports, music, etc.) to be involved in per semester so that this is possible....
BUT THEY WILL NOT FORGET that you did it.
we've seen a huge shift in TAs lately and its sad.
our students used to be more involved in small bible studies in the afternoons or weekend events. but not so much anymore.
here's why - they are gone from home from 7:30am til sometimes (no kidding) 9pm. with rehearsals and practice. that is RIDICULOUS.
RIDICULOUS.
i could say a lot more. and maybe i will. but i wanna challenge parents to trying this...
at least 3 nights a week, supper as a family.
if you think they won't talk....have a question box! write random questions and ask them.
but i bet if you simply ask them about their life (consistently!) they'll share.
i'm 35. i'm not super cool. i'm a mom. but they share with me (and my coworkers) sometimes simply bc we ask.
with my growth groups we start each week by sharing 1 great thing from the past week, 2 good things and 1 bad.
all that does is open doors for them to share. my job....to remember what they shared and follow up!
i'm DO NOT pretend to know it all....or anything.
but you won't regret spending MORE PURPOSEFUL time with your kids...
the world won't regret it either b/c you'll raise good adults :)
amen.
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