life with Jesus

i am so far from being a perfect christian. i often tell people that i will be sweeping porches in Heaven. i'm pretty serious about that. there are lots of parts of me that are gross and fleshy and not adding rooms to my mansion (aka TENT) in Heaven.

i hope that my life honors God and that He is ultimately pleased with me (thanks to His Son!) so saying i'm not perfect doesn't mean i don't try to live a life that blesses Him... i do!

but for friends out there who aren't in a good place spiritually or don't really trust God at all...I'd like to just share some reasons i believe in Christ and hope you will too.

i am saddened by my sin. i feel like i have struggled with the same old stuff for entirely too long. but being a mom has taught me a lot about His grace.

good grief, i can't imagine loving G anymore than i do. that kid stole my heart before i ever held him in my arms. but every day...multiple times a day...i have to correct him, discipline him, sometimes take things away from him so that he will learn to make good choices and change his behavior. but you know that NONE of those moments change my heart or my love towards him?!

and i am lame, selfish human. so just imagine how much more our Perfect Father loves us even when we do childish things.

(sometimes when G is freaking out b/c there's yogurt on his pullup or he wants to ride a train that we don't have...WHAT?? i imagine that's probably what i look & sound like to God when my pants are too tight or i am mad in traffic)

i can't. i can't even imagine.

i had nothing to do with G being created. nothing. he's not biologically mine at all. but i am completely, 100% invested and in love with him.

but G (and YOU and i) = 100% Gods idea.

we all know the verse...

Psalm 139:13-14
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.  

He created us.

if you follow my blog you know i am coming out of a nasty season of chasing an idol. it is something i fight daily. but i am so thankful for where He has brought me since i finally surrendered. gosh.

i was talking with some friends the other day and i came to realize that this sin/idol in my life is like a HUGE tree with deep, deep roots (that i allowed the enemy to plant, then i watered and helped grow.) but just in the past several months of truly letting go and allowing Him to bring healing i feel like some of the biggest, strongest roots have been cut off. and i am so thankful.

i appreciate that God doesn't treat us like puppets. He allows us to make decisions. what makes me sad is when i chase after something that i KNOW He has told me not to. that is when i get myself in a big ol hot mess.

i also appreciate that He doesn't (always) just pull me out of my mess. not as punishment but as a consequence.

just like G. i don't take his toys away or put him in time out for the heck of it. i do it so he will (hopefully) learn from his mistakes.

God so so gently, lovingly and patiently corrects me and loves me through my consequences.

i love it. He doesn't allow us to get away with stuff. as He shouldn't!! kids that get away with everything....are the kids, teenagers and adults that NONE of us want to be with, ha!

He doesn't change the circumstance. He simply walks beside me through it.

oh how i wish i could make EVERY heart feel that peace and comfort that comes with His presence. Even when i'm totally in the wrong His presence is comforting.

you'd think i would learn to obey and always trust. you'd think.

but so often i try to do my own thing, my own way and its exhausting.

i'm learning, in this new phase of freedom, that if i'd listened to Him from the start...He probably would've have let me have those things i was chasing BUT in a whole, complete, healthy way.

there's nothing wrong with wanting to be fit and healthy. i am sure He would've honored that. IF i'd allowed Him to lead me. IF i'd trusted HIS words instead of believing the lies of the enemy.

i love that God wants us to be happy. He doesn't make rules so that life is boring or sucks.

Proof...??
- Sex (inside of marriage!)
- Food :)
- the beach
- the mountains
- friends
- family
- college football
- all 4 seasons
- creation etc. etc

He JOYFULLY made us and this world from dust! He desires for us to walk in a relationship with Him so that we get to know Him and He can know us and help us walk in His ways.

I'm NOT saying this means our life will always be easy. but when we are walking with Him...even the hard stuff is doable.

sick family/friends, losing a loved one, divorce, struggling with sin, being discouraged, wanting something (like a baby, spouse, house, etc.) and feeling like He's not answering, etc..living through.these things are doable...b/c of Him.

HE will hold us up. He will be our joy, our peace that passes ALL understanding...

If we allow Him to.

so, my friends, if you haven't allowed Him to be those things for you OR walk with you through your consequences i want to challenge you to do so.

He is faithful. He is worth it. He is our Creator!

He truly loves us.

He loves me.
selfish, fleshy, impatient, dirty ol kaci.

and YOU.







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