for jay :)
after reading my randomness yesterday, jay said i needed to write about my moped failure. here's how the day went down...
i was at the beach with about 10 close friends. we were in hog heaven. great condo, absolutely amazing food (thank you brad!) perfect beach & pool time, lots of laughter - it was fabulous. one of my favorite memories from this trip was eating confetti cake for breakfast with ashley. yum! we had the sheet cake & 2 forks, perfect.
things were running smoothly. then someone in the group - not me - decided it'd be fun to rent mopeds for the day. so we threw on some clothes and off we went. i should've known this was going to be a bad idea. i don't do anything at the beach. that's why i love it. i don't play games, i don't play in the ocean, i might go for a walk...but really i'm there to lay out. so back off with your activities folks...
but i didn't wanna be a stick-in-the-mud so i went. oh my.
walking in the place i started getting nervous. i don't even ride a bicycle with grace so putting me on something with a motor seemed dangerous. everyone else seemed excited though so i smiled like i was confident. we filled out all our paperwork. i signed my name on that dotted line thinking "if i had anything of worth i'd need a will for this crap."
we all head out to pick our poison. i chose a red moped on the front row. the owner came & stood in front of my ride. he was going to use me to demonstrate how things worked. i was kinda feeling proud thinking he must've thought i looked experienced :) i'm so hardcore, ya know.
so he shows us how to push the gas (which is really turning the handle) and use the breaks, etc. i figured i'd go ahead and give it a whirl...
and i drove STRAIGHT UP THE MANS PANT LEG. yes, i did. i left skid marks.
he wanted to kill me. he grabbed my bike and told me that i was going to kill myself. (thanks...) and that i HAD to go ride in circles around the parking lot for 15 mins before i could leave the premises. he wasn't kidding.
so all my poor friends rode in circles with me. i cried, they laughed and laughed and laughed.
honestly i cried the entire time. i was like dumb & dumber. i had snot and tears running down my face. my friends continued to laugh. what a day.
what makes it super funny is that one of my guy friends (who never does anything stupid) actually wrecked his moped. hilarious. he went straight into a fence. a minivan stopped the rest of us and told us "we'd lost one" behind us. hahahahaha.
i don't ever wanna drive one again so dont ask.
other than embarrassing the heck out of jay attempting to play basketball on our honeymoon...this moped ride may have been the only time jay was a shocked at my lack of skills.
again - i was on my honeymoon. other than sex, nothing athletic was supposed to take place!! but jay decides to ask another couple if they want to play basketball in the pool. what? no! i could've died.
but not jay he was ready to play. i was an idiot. i completely forgot i had a job to do. all i ever wanted to do was attempt to make a basket. i forgot i was supposed to block/guard this other girl. if i didn't have the basketball in my hand i'd just gaze off into the beautiful scenery and wait for my turn. jay was less than impressed. they kicked our tails, badly. jay refuses to let me play with him anymore. thank God.
i was at the beach with about 10 close friends. we were in hog heaven. great condo, absolutely amazing food (thank you brad!) perfect beach & pool time, lots of laughter - it was fabulous. one of my favorite memories from this trip was eating confetti cake for breakfast with ashley. yum! we had the sheet cake & 2 forks, perfect.
things were running smoothly. then someone in the group - not me - decided it'd be fun to rent mopeds for the day. so we threw on some clothes and off we went. i should've known this was going to be a bad idea. i don't do anything at the beach. that's why i love it. i don't play games, i don't play in the ocean, i might go for a walk...but really i'm there to lay out. so back off with your activities folks...
but i didn't wanna be a stick-in-the-mud so i went. oh my.
walking in the place i started getting nervous. i don't even ride a bicycle with grace so putting me on something with a motor seemed dangerous. everyone else seemed excited though so i smiled like i was confident. we filled out all our paperwork. i signed my name on that dotted line thinking "if i had anything of worth i'd need a will for this crap."
we all head out to pick our poison. i chose a red moped on the front row. the owner came & stood in front of my ride. he was going to use me to demonstrate how things worked. i was kinda feeling proud thinking he must've thought i looked experienced :) i'm so hardcore, ya know.
so he shows us how to push the gas (which is really turning the handle) and use the breaks, etc. i figured i'd go ahead and give it a whirl...
and i drove STRAIGHT UP THE MANS PANT LEG. yes, i did. i left skid marks.
he wanted to kill me. he grabbed my bike and told me that i was going to kill myself. (thanks...) and that i HAD to go ride in circles around the parking lot for 15 mins before i could leave the premises. he wasn't kidding.
so all my poor friends rode in circles with me. i cried, they laughed and laughed and laughed.
honestly i cried the entire time. i was like dumb & dumber. i had snot and tears running down my face. my friends continued to laugh. what a day.
what makes it super funny is that one of my guy friends (who never does anything stupid) actually wrecked his moped. hilarious. he went straight into a fence. a minivan stopped the rest of us and told us "we'd lost one" behind us. hahahahaha.
i don't ever wanna drive one again so dont ask.
other than embarrassing the heck out of jay attempting to play basketball on our honeymoon...this moped ride may have been the only time jay was a shocked at my lack of skills.
again - i was on my honeymoon. other than sex, nothing athletic was supposed to take place!! but jay decides to ask another couple if they want to play basketball in the pool. what? no! i could've died.
but not jay he was ready to play. i was an idiot. i completely forgot i had a job to do. all i ever wanted to do was attempt to make a basket. i forgot i was supposed to block/guard this other girl. if i didn't have the basketball in my hand i'd just gaze off into the beautiful scenery and wait for my turn. jay was less than impressed. they kicked our tails, badly. jay refuses to let me play with him anymore. thank God.
Comments
Post a Comment